


I'm Fine

by fantasia-minhyuk (lilipoppii), minhyuksfatgf (lilipoppii), xlilybebe (lilipoppii)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: College AU, F/M, Frat Parties, Kihyun is your brother, Some Cursing, Some fighting, and some others - Freeform, hyungwon is kihyun's best friend, kihyun is more of a parent than a brother, wonho tries to be helpful without being helpful, you used to date changkyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26175067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilipoppii/pseuds/fantasia-minhyuk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilipoppii/pseuds/minhyuksfatgf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilipoppii/pseuds/xlilybebe
Summary: You had kept it close to your bosom, this crush you had for one of your brother’s friends, but it seems booze would be your downfall. Well, booze and one of your brother’s other good friend.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Reader
Kudos: 12





	1. I'm Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted from [tumblr](https://fantasia-minhyuk.tumblr.com/post/190016513797/status-in-progress-wc-1877-pairing-hyungwon-x).

If you had learned anything today, it would be not to trust people. Not the boy you gave your heart to and definitely the one boy you had let get close enough to hurt you like he had.

It had been just an innocent crush. You had carried it for a few months now towards one of your brother’s friends. You had kept it to yourself, never once let it escape the landscape of your inner dwellings. So why did it have to be one of the first things you spewed when you were drunk at your brother’s party last night?

You stared down into the fruity concoction that had been handed to you by one of your brother’s friends. The one that always talked to you, always made you feel welcome at these parties. If you had been smart, you would have fallen for that greek god chiseled bodybuilder over the boy sitting down in the living room on your mother’s flower printed couches. Hoseok, the one ally you had, rested his hand on your head as he leaned it back slightly to look into your eyes, “____, how are you doing? You already look drunk. Maybe that’ll be your last drink, hm?”

He had handed it to you. With a scoff you sip the liquid then glance towards the couches, eyes lingering maybe a few seconds too long before returning to the older boy’s worried gaze, “I’m fine. I can sleep it off tomorrow.”

Hoseok watches you still and you offer him a lopsided smile, too exhausted and loopy to really enforce a genuine one. He moves to sit back by your side which gives you leniency to let your eyes drift back to the couches, taking in your crushes tall stature and how his long legs are crossed in front of him. He’s joking around with your brother about something when a bunch of girls take the open seats around them. You suck in a breath when his arms wrap over the girls that flank his sides as he continues the joke he had started before they sat down. You couldn’t help but continue to watch as they wrapped themselves around him like snakes as they tried to get his attention.

The blonde on his left, more successful in that venture, was able to get him to look at her while she gave him a heated stare. He returned the attention for a while before something your brother said had pushed him into a laughing fit, having him lean forward and away from the girls as he tried to gulp down air afterward. He was quick to return to their embrace and your heart squeezed.

You gripped the liquor in your hand, the cup whining as you crushed it slightly before dragging it to your lips and downing the contents. Hoseok grabbed your wrist to pull it away, but it was too late.

“________, what’s going on?”

You, on instinct, shoot your eyes away from the subject of your sudden childish mood, turning to your brother’s friend before crossing your legs. A rushing force from your stomach bubbled it’s way up and you felt the want to scream your pain at the top of your lungs, but you settle for telling it to your brother’s friend. The one who you’ve told countless other things to. The one who makes you feel wanted. 

“Remember when I told you about the guy I have a crush on? The one who acts like he doesn’t know, but if I ever even mention romantic things or try to get close to him that he changes the subject?”

He nods as he turns to you also, giving you his full attention. His cheeks were soft pink when you focused, but he was giving you an encouraging look which totally didn’t help your word vomit. You sigh, “Am I that weird that no one ever returns my feelings? I feel like I’m just used to other’s entertainment or something.”

He opened his thighs to push forward, pulling you a little closer to make the conversation more private, “Hey, hey, why do you say that? Why are you weird?”

The liquor was kicking in, or you had lost your mind, but the words came out so easily that you didn’t even care what was the reason for your newly found confidence and absolute faith in the boy in front of you. “I’m ugly, selfish, bitchy... I have all these bad qualities. It makes sense that no one wants me or even looks at me that way.”

He lifts his arms to rub his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks, only then making you realize you’re crying, “No one is perfect, but you’re definitely not all of those things, ________.” Your focus shifts back to the couches and you hardly register that Hoseok’s own brown orbs follow yours to take in the scene you’re watching. How the blonde has now transferred herself into your crushes’ lap and is kissing his neck while you watch. Mostly shocked, but a little nauseous. You were doing this to yourself. You could’ve easily walked your drunk ass upstairs, but now it was too late. Your brother’s friend knew. Hoseok knew. 

The only other boy over there on the couches aside from your brother was your crush. “Hyungwon is your crush, ____?”

Fuck if you could just slap your hand over your mouth bef- “Yes.”

Hoseok stands in a swift, powerful movement, while his hands clench at his sides as he stares down the taller boy lounging on the couch. You reach up and grab onto his shirt, pulling him back to his chair, “Please,” you whine, scraping together what’s left of your voice now that your crying has opened up in full force, “Please don’t say anything to him, Hoseok.”

“He cannot just treat you this way, ___! It’s not right.”

“Please,” you plead, pulling him strongly to return back to his chair.

He concedes, putting his bottom on the edge of the chair but is quick to pop back up and is moving before you can reach for his shirt and pull him back. He’s already across the room and standing behind Hyungwon at the couches as you watch horrorstruck as he whispers to the other boy something. The back and forth only lasts a little while before Hoseok is walking away, grabbing a cup sitting on the table next to your brother before he storms out into the backyard.

You choke on a sob when Hyungwon’s eyes cut to where he knew you had been sitting the whole time. He pushes the blonde from his lap, picking up the cup in front of him and shaking it like he means to refill it, but his body language leaves nothing to put stock in that notion as he walks straight for you. You’re staring up at his neck, not daring to meet his eyes, and focus on the hickeys that had been allotted there before wiping at your watery eyes.

“Is Hoseok into you or something? He came up and told me I was being rude to you. What happened?”

Fuck. Of course, he did. 

“Maybe he misunderstood? I was upset about something and he thought it was you...”

Hyungwon sips from the cup he had said was empty earlier, his plump lips glistening with the liquor when he puts the cup behind you on the table you’re sitting at. 

“I asked him what I did....”

You lean around Hyungwon, trying to find a sliver of Hoseok out in the backyard and frown. Why had you been so stupid? You stand, unable to continue listening to the conversation and search out your brother’s other friend. This had not been what you wanted when you had laid your heart bare to the other boy. You had wanted someone to listen to you. Nothing more. You were always in this position as it was impossible to tell your brother anything as the people you usually fell for were the only ones around you. His friends. You couldn’t possibly tell him you had a crush on his friend. He’d lose it!

You briskly walk out the back door and walk past the pool and the pool house before you spot his blonde hair attached to a dark figure sitting on your parent’s favorite bench swing. The anger had been brewing since you left Hyungwon standing there and you knew it was reaching a boiling point as you stop in front of him.

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!”

He jumps to his feet at your anger, his mind seeming to register that it is you in front of him. He’s shuffling the crunched Dixie cup between his hands as his eyes slowly roll up your body till they reach your enraged eyes, “I couldn’t not say anything, ____.”

“You could have! You chose to say something!”

“I did,” he acquiesced. “You don’t deserve that.”

A whine leaves your throat, “I asked you nicely not to say anything, Hoseok!”

He opens his mouth to respond when your Kakao sounds a new message from your phone that you had completely forgotten being crammed into your back pocket. A forceful huff leaves you as you pull the device from your pocket and immediately want to throw it when the backlit illuminates to show the message is from Hyungwon.

_‘Were you jealous?’_

That’s what he had sent you. You wanted to scream or toss the cursed phone into the pool where you could pretend you had never read that retched message that was making your whole body flood with nausea. You squeeze the phone between both your hands and rest your forehead against them. This was probably the worst happening of your long life of bad luck. 

Hoseok tries to pat your shoulder, but you roll it to knock his hand off of you. 

You ignore him to unlock your phone and open Kakao to Hyungwon’s message. Your fingers stuttered above the screen as millions of replies flew through your mind, but none of them seemed correct. None of them did, but you knew you couldn’t tell him the truth. If anything, you had to deflect it, pretend you weren’t affected. 

**‘_____: Of your harem? Totally. I’d love to be surrounded by a bunch of guys.’**

Hoseok grabbed for your phone when he heard the swoosh sound, “What did you say to him?”

You pull the phone out of his reach, “Please,” you say with more force than you mean to, “just stop.”

He heeds your request and lets his arms drop back to his sides as you lock the phone and return it back to your pants. You both stand there for a long moment, neither sure how to continue so you wave, “I’m going to bed. I can’t handle this anymore.”

He bites his bottom lip as he sees fresh tears roll down your cheeks, but he doesn’t dare to wipe them off for you. You had made it clear that you didn’t want his help and he had already upset you by talking to Hyungwon so he just nods and allows you to walk away. He would text you after you had calmed down later in the week.


	2. Mohae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve avoided Hyungwon since your brother’s party and he doesn’t care for that shit at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted from [tumblr](https://fantasia-minhyuk.tumblr.com/post/190019517842/status-in-progress-wc-2594-pairing-hyungwon-x).

He frowned down at his one-sided conversation. Hyungwon had tried writing you the next day to apologize since he had acted out of line, but you had been expertly avoiding him in every possible situation. If he was on the phone with your brother and you needed to talk to him, you made your brother mute the call. If he showed up to take your brother somewhere or to hang out with him, you were conveniently not home. If he approached Hoseok about it, being the soft-hearted man he was, he would politely tell Hyungwon to fuck off. If saying that he did not wish to converse with Hyungwon before walking away could be interpreted any other way, he was willing to listen, but at this point, that was all it could mean.

He sighs and leans back in his computer chair, his eyes roaming over the popcorned white ceiling of his bedroom as he tries to think of what he could do to make you talk to him. The last time you had stopped talking to him was back when you were five and had given him your favorite bear as a present. Back then, he didn’t know that it was your favorite bear as well as he didn’t know that you couldn’t sleep without said bear. For a week, you hadn’t talked to him until you told your brother what happened, thanks to lack of sleep and being upset, your brother had come over to his house and nearly killed him to get the bear back. When all he really had to do was ask. Hyungwon didn’t know any better.

A ding pulled him from his thoughts.

He erased what he was writing before he could press enter. He was being weird and even he knew it, he recognized it the night of the party when he pretended he was going to get a drink when he was really just trying to avoid the girl who had been sucking on his neck all night. It spoke volumes to his psyche when he walked straight up to you instead of playing along with the little lie he had made to excuse himself. The frustration he felt when you ignored him to go find Hoseok had been so strong that he went into the kitchen and nearly destroyed every bottle of liquor Kihyun had bought before the thought popped into his head. Were you jealous? 

Hyungwon had been around plenty of women since he was 18 to recognize jealousy, but when he looked at you, his heart stuttered and clenched. He felt stupid and wished he could erase every hickey that girl had placed upon his neck the instant your eyes landed on them. He chewed his lip as he finally found what he wanted to say.

* * *

Hyungwon knocked on your front door, easily hearing Minhyuk and Kihyun shouting at each other as they played whatever game the two of them had picked out for the day. He waited patiently, figuring Kihyun would make him sit there till the round ended, but when the door flew open not two minutes later to reveal you standing there in your silk shorts and camisole he almost died of shock. He looked you over, from your messy bun to your feet that you had toe spacers between as you were currently painting them a pretty pastel rose color. The smile that had been gracing your cheeks died upon realizing it was him and he felt his heart clenched uncomfortably again, “Hey,” he said and wished he could shoot himself dead.

That had been stupid. He could’ve said something better, but his mouth refused to listen to his brain.

Your response was to turn your back to him and walk away and he sighed, shaking his head as he walked into your house and shut the door behind himself. He watched you walk past the opening to the living room where Kihyun and Minhyuk were still battling it out on the game to the kitchen and his feet were quickly on your trail till Kihyun called out to him.

“Hey! You made it,” your brother called before turning back and realizing what had happened. Minhyuk had taken his moment of distraction to squirt his friend with ink and laughed hysterically before he started inking down the area with his yellow color. “Really, Hyuk?”

“Who told you to not pay attention?” The other boy yelled back.

“You’re going down!” Kihyun retaliated, searching his blonde friend’s octling out before splatting him with a wicked grin on his face. “Take that!”

Hyungwon couldn’t help the smile he held while watching both boys battling it out, Kihyun on the family’s 60” flatscreen and Minhyuk on his handheld. He imagined this had been what had happened since his friend had said they were playing less than an hour ago. Minhyuk taking advantage of Kihyun being easily distracted before destroying him only for the other boy to strike back. Neither of them seemed to care about inking their territory or if either of their teams won. This was definitely what he was used to between the two boys.

He shook his head and looked to the kitchen, you had sat back down at the table, balancing the cordless house phone to your ear as you painted your nails. The honest belief that you would pack up and move everything to your room had been his understanding, but he much liked it more than you had remained in the kitchen where he could at least see you. He sat down in the lazy boy, pulling out his own Switch from his bag to load up the game that his two friends were playing. 

He was waiting in the queue for their game to end when Kihyun looked over at him when their screens started displaying the last game’s stats.

“Hey Wonnie, did you hook up with that blonde from the party? I hear she keeps asking Hyunwoo about you.”

His eyes unconsciously move to you in the kitchen before refocusing on your brother, “Nah, I wasn’t all that interested in her.”

“What?” Minhyuk screeches between the two of them, “You weren’t interested in her? Since when? That’s always been your type!”

Hyungwon sets his Switch down so he’s not tempted to throw it at the other boy before he chews his bottom lip again, “I don’t know, man, she just seemed a little too desperate.”

Kihyun even seemed confused by the statement as he set his controller down on the table between the couch and TV, “But that’s usually the very reason you hook up with girls.”

“Fuck, I don’t know, okay?” He huffs and stands, his eyes moving back to the kitchen where he realizes you’re no longer there. A piece of him is filled with relief that you weren’t there to hear how weird he was being, but a piece of him wished you had been. He wanted to see your reaction to knowing that he was strange now. That your absence had affected him so much, but he couldn’t reason out why your thoughts about him mattered so much.

He places his hands on his hips, “Didn’t you invite me over to play video games or are we going to sit down and braid each other’s hair? Cause if that’s it, I’m out.”

“That sounds fun too,” Minhyuk jokes, quickly picking up his Switch to re-enter the lobby and join a game.

Kihyun pushed the blonde over, “Like hell it does,” he complains before looking to Hyungwon, “I hope we get teamed up against this loser.”

He smiles and picks up his Switch as well before sitting back in the lazy boy to enter the game with them. Thoughts that churned his stomach and made his heartburn being put on the back burner as he teamed up with Kihyun to set a recorded for how many times they splatted Minhyuk’s octling.

* * *

It seemed, even paired, they could only combine splat the other boy 30 times before the match ended in which they would have to start all over again. Minhyuk had even called you for help a few times, but you had ignored his pleas and when he messaged you, it seems even that hadn’t gone over well for him as well.

It seemed his constant begging for help had ticked you off just enough that you walked down the hallway from your room to throw a pillow at the back of his head, “Stop messaging me!”

Minhyuk turned to look at you before whistling, “Where are you going dressed up?”

Kihyun turned to look over your outfit before he returned back to the game he was in the middle of. Minhyuk had tapped out when they had both kept teaming up against him. Hyungwon, however close he was to winning the game against Kihyun’s team, still spared a glance in your direction and almost dropped his Switch. He licked his bottom lip, swiftly avoiding being splatted by Kihyun’s octling before he spared another quick glance that sent his heart stuttering as he glared at his screen. 

You were wearing a short black lacy thing that showed off your long legs and accentuated your curves. It seemed to be another of those nights where you went out with your girlfriends. He knew all about them, having crashed a few of them with Kihyun when your brother couldn’t stand it anymore. He did his best to let you be independent, but sometimes the things you wore out pushed every last button of his and he dragged you back home kicking and screaming; like the childish sister, he expected you to be. Had always been. 

It had been years since Hyungwon saw you as Kihyun’s childish sister now that he thought about it. When you had graduated from High School, he had seen you start to change, like a flip had been switched. You stopped hanging out with your brother and his friends and more with your girlfriends from school. Three times a week, you would meet up with them to exercise before heading to brunch followed by shopping with them - leaving little time for any of your brother’s friends to bother you. 

You had caught his attention at that moment. Having seen you less and less, he knew he had paid more attention when you were around and he couldn’t even utter an ill word towards you as he definitely liked everything he saw when you were there. 

“None of your business,” you stated before rolling your eyes.

Kihyun sat up, leaning over the couch some as he caught the end of your dress between his fingers, stopping you from retreating to your room, “Isn’t this one a bit too short? Can’t you wear those leg things underneath?”

For all your arguments, you still listened to your brother’s thoughts, “I’m only going out drinking with the girls. Nothing else is going to happen.”

“Please,” your brother said softly while looking up at you, allowing his hand to return to the back of the couch, “I know you hate when I ask these things, but I know how guys are. Just look at how Minhyuk is looking at you and he’s one of my good friends. Put on those leg things.”

Your eyes moved to Minhyuk who was still eyeing you very obviously and sighed, “Fine.” 

Hyungwon looks at you as you’re turning to go put on the leggings that your brother had suggested and he chokes catching your eyes as you smirk before disappearing down the hallway. He sits forward and leans onto his knees as he continues to cough, Minhyuk reaching over to pat him on the back as he tries to regain his cool. What was that? Did that really just happen? He was trying to catch your face so he could place the whole look together in his mind and you smirked at him? 

Hyungwon’s heart stopped when the notification popped up that you were reading his messages. Finally, you were seeing everything he had sent you since that party a week ago. He was standing in the bathroom at your house, hands shaking some as he saw the bubble telling him you were replying to him. God, he was so uncool. Getting so excited about his friend’s little sister replying to his messages like some whipped teenager. 

He scoffed and shoved his phone back into his pants. Oh, he would tell him, he thought as he walked out into the living room to do just that.

* * *

Hyungwon stopped dead just inside the restaurant that Kihyun said you were in on your SnapChat map. His eyes had found you just as easily as breathing and he realized with a clarity he wished he had understood back at the house, that you were not going out with girlfriends. The flirty makeup and short dress should have been his first clue as it had been the same things girls would wear around him when they wanted his attention. He reached out with his long arm as Kihyun searched the restaurant for you to pull him back, “I don’t see her,” he lies as he continues to watch you flirting with Changkyun by the bar, “Maybe the map was wrong?”

“She has to be here,” Kihyun declines his suggestion, “The map has never been wrong before.”

A spark of panic rises in him as Kihyun’s eyes drift closer and closer to the bar. His own heart burning in flames as he watches the way you look at your ex while smiling and flipping your hair behind your back. He grips his best friend’s shoulders and turns him, knowing his eyes are too wide, “I don’t see her, Hyunnie, maybe she’s in the next restaurant?”

Kihyun looks down at his phone at the SnapChat map and shrugs, “I guess it’s worth a shot,” he agrees before stepping around Hyungwon and out the door. 

His eyes shoot back to you at the bar long enough to see that you’ve spotted him. You raise a daring brow before lifting your hand to wave him goodbye. He lifts his phone, types out something before turning and leaving. He didn’t give a damn about Changkyun, even though he didn’t like the guy at all. What he cared about what your brother and the lengths he would go to remove you from the restaurant and your ex. He didn’t want to be an accessory to murder. 


	3. No Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon overhears your conversation with Hoseok about you giving up and disappears. Why does your brother seem so mad at you now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted from [tumblr](https://fantasia-minhyuk.tumblr.com/post/190027290697/status-in-progress-wc-2926-pairing-hyungwon-x).

Hyungwon places his bottom against the counter as he lets his head fall forward. This… this whole situation was beginning to frustrate him more and more. More than when you were five and blamed him for stealing your bear. You had given it to him. He had accepted it, even though he had known it was your favorite bear and you couldn’t sleep without it. Kihyun had been angry when he had shown up at his house to take the bear back. That was the only time your brother had ever been angry with him. 

He wondered how his best friend would react if he explained the emotions clouding his insides. How your short dress made him speechless. How Changkyun hanging all over you made him want to scream. How easy it was for Hoseok to talk to you made him envious. He pulled out his phone and pressed his thumb to the circle at the bottom to open it back to your messages, well, his messages to you. He flicked the conversation down until the last time you had returned his messages. 

_‘Totally, I would love to be surrounded by a bunch of guys.’_

Did you even realize how many guys you had surrounding you? Vying for your attention? If anyone had a harem, a group of people at the ready to choose from, it was you. Krystal poked his side to pull him out of his thoughts and he offered her a blank face. 

“What?” She questioned him.

He shook his head to dismiss her question of him.

“Okay, fine, don’t tell me, but I think I should tell you that Kihyun is beating up Changkyun.”

Alarm floods him as he realizes that the pounding music has disappeared. “Fuck,” he mutters, pushing passed his friend and making his way towards the living room. He moves people out of his way until he’s to the front where he takes in Kihyun’s small frame shaking as he leans over Changkyun who is in his face even from his spot on the floor. His best friend must have gotten in a good punch because the other boy’s lip is busted open. His eyes then find you pulling at Kihyun’s arm that is still raised to attack your ex again. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you really think I’m going to let you just traipse back into my little sister’s life and fuck it up all over again?”

Changkyun spits whatever is in his mouth on the ground, “I forgot how whipped you were.”

Kihyun shakes you off him before he punches your ex again, “Stay. The. Fuck. Away.” Each punch enforced his words as you grab for your brother’s arm again and pull him, drag him away from your ex who is the one smiling as he finally is able to stand; his face a mess. Without thinking, he moves to help you pull your brother from the living room, the house and down the street before you’re all standing at the bus stop. 

* * *

Changkyun smiles slowly as he watches your face, the way you flush noticeably even in the barely-lit bar he had dragged you to. He licks his lips as he watches you grip the glass full of liquor and bring it to your lips in hopes of being able to avoid his attention, but he’s not so easily dismissed. He reaches forward and wraps his fingers around your wrist not helping dump the rest of the alcohol down your throat. When the liquid disappears down your throat and you no longer have a way to avoid him, he laughs, “We have to talk about it eventually, ______. I literally got punched by your brother just for dancing with you. When were you going to let me know you were using me to get to Hyungwon?”

You dig your teeth into your bottom lip before turning and facing him, even before Changkyun and you dated, you had been best friends. The Changkyun now was best friend Changkyun, not your ex-boyfriend Changkyun and you loved that he could just focus on current dilemmas instead of bringing up the past. You both parted on mutual agreement anyways.

“____?”

Nixing the panic attack, you let your fingers wrap around his, “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think it would matter. After Hoseok pretty much told him how I felt, I figured he would avoid me… I panicked, I guess.”

His grin sits firmly in place as his thumb rubs over the back of your hand comfortingly, “I’m not mad about it, babe, but it would’ve been more effective if I had known so I could’ve been more convincing.”

“Because my brother beating your face-in wasn’t convincing enough?” you deadpan.

He laughs, “Well, yeah, your brother’s fists are pretty convincing for his hate towards me, but that doesn’t say much about my feelings towards you in another guy’s eyes.”

When you just stare at him like you’re lost, another chuckle leaves him, “Do you still want my help? My actual help this time.”

You lift your hand from his grasp, your other crossing it to make an x between the two of you, “No. I’m giving up. I’ve been trying for a few weeks and the most he has confirmed is not wanting to be an accessory to murder. And I refuse to be a contestant on Love After Lockup.”

“As if he would want you,” he rubs salt in your wounds.

“I really do remember why I hate you now,” you push him away, the grin on your face proving otherwise. “Leave my presence before I call Kihyun to come and beat your ass again.”

Even though both of you knew it was a joke, he still obliges by standing with his hands raised to his chest as he turns to walk away. You weren’t stupid, you had caught him eying some girl across the room and as you watched him retreat, his direction towards her was very clear. A smile still tugged at your lips as your turn and pay the bartender before hopping off the stool and making your exit.

* * *

Your smile dies as soon as you cross the threshold into your house. In the living room, Kihyun is surrounded by his friends who are all staring blankly at the TV with some horror show playing. The only one really moving is Minhyuk who has curled into Hoseok, but what pulls your eyes is a movement to his right and then you freeze. Hyungwon is staring at you as you pause in the middle of placing your house keys into the small dish by the front door. No one seems to notice you aside from him and you push yourself to leave the room as fast as you entered; kicking your shoes off. 

Kihyun’s voice stops you, “Where were you?”

Your hand stays glued to the banister of the stairs, “Out with the girls.”

The movie mutes and Kihyun’s voice can be heard clearer, “I asked where. Not who.”

He seems furious with you, so you turn back and find him standing from his spot on the couch, his full attention taking you in. The outfit you’re wearing, your whole body in general really and he frowns.

“That’s not one of your usual outfits with the girls. When are you going to stop lying to me?”

You open your mouth and close it. Kihyun puts his hand out, palm up, “Cellphone, now.”

Grudgingly you walk back towards him, playing into him treating you like a little kid as you slide your cell into his palm and glance up at him.

“You know how much I hate you lying to me. Reflect on this for a week and then I’ll consider giving your phone back.”

You nod, Kihyun’s word was stronger than even your parents. He had sort of become your parent when your real parents started traveling all the time after retiring a few years back. Once, only once, had you tried to explain to him that you were no longer his kid sister he had to look after. It had ended with you almost in a coma in one of your drunken drives back home from a party - Kihyun no longer allowed you to claim your maturity after that. So you had relinquished control since.

You climb the stairs to your room, taking off your jewelry as you went. You step into your room, eyes roaming over the mess you had left it in to get ready for the night and sigh. Keeping your silence, you set your jewelry down on your vanity before moving around your room and picking up the clothes you had discarded in your haste earlier. A cough at your door pulls your attention from the silk shirt you had just picked up. Hoseok stands in your doorway, eyes taking in the scene before looking into your eyes, “Need some help?”

A shrug grants him permission as he starts picking things up as well. He’s quiet like you, brushing past you as he picks up the remaining articles of clothing before he rights himself, “You know he only is hard on you because he cares about you,” he comments, one of his hands idly petting the clothes in his hands like he’s the one that needs comfort, “Right?”

Another shrug.

Hoseok turns to your closet and starts hanging everything back up, all too familiar with your habit of tossing things after you’ve tried them on. When he finishes what is in his hands, you hand him the things you’re holding until everything is put away. You stare at his bright pink hair, vaguely recalling a text he sent explaining it was his way of hoping to gain your forgiveness for his flub up at the party a few weeks ago. You hadn’t had the heart to tell him you had already forgiven him the next day. You reach up to run your hand through the bubble gum strands as he turns to you with a smile, enjoying your attention. 

“I think I’m going to give up,” you say while letting your hand drop back to your side.

“Give up?” he parrots as he watches you move to pull out nightclothes.

“My crush,” you clarify before turning and grabbing a band off your vanity to pull your hair up into a bun. 

Hoseok moves up to your side, eyes focused on your hair - disliking how it looks - before he takes the bun down and starts gathering your hair in his hands to fix it. “How come?”

You watch him work in the mirror before sitting yourself down on the small chair in front of your vanity to pull out your colored contacts with a sigh, “He doesn’t even notice me outside of being Kihyun’s little sister.”

Hoseok pulls the bun in your hair, smoothing back your baby hairs with his hands as he looks down at you through the mirror, “No, he definitely notices you.”

“That’s easy to say,” you frown, “But facts are that I’m just Kihyun’s little sister to all of you. Especially you and him.”

“Well, yeah,” Hoseok laughs, moving his hands to your shoulders, “I see you as his sister, sure, but more than that, I see you as my best friend. Sometimes more than even Kihyun’s friend.”

You smile at him, “Best friend?”

He laughs, “It’s strange, right? We only ever talk at parties and it’s usually you unloading all your thoughts and problems on me, but I really do consider you my best friend since you trust me so much.”

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip as you stare at him. Guilt weighing heavily in your stomach as you recall how much you hated letting him know you so well not more than a couple of weeks ago. You had never considered calling Hoseok your best friend, but truly, wasn’t he just that? 

“Don’t worry,” he smiles before moving to sit on your bed, causing you to turn to keep your eyes on him, “I know I messed up really bad telling him your feelings. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you relent. It didn’t matter much anymore now.

“But back to Hyungwon,” he counters, “I’m positive he sees you as more than Kihyun’s sister.”

“Only fools are positive,” you say softly.

“Even so,” Hoseok adds, “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, _____. He’s never looked at any other girl like that. Not even back when he dated Irene. Even then, he still looked at you differently than her, with more love than her.”

You pick up a random makeup brush from behind you and launch it at him, “Yeah right, like that’s possible. Irene was his whole world. He didn’t start messing around with girls till after she dumped him. If he hadn’t loved her that deeply, he would’ve never started messing around.”

Hoseok picks up the brush that had slid to the floor after hitting him in the chest and stares into your eyes, “______.”

You hold up a hand to silence him. A cough cutting your retort to his calling your name.

Minhyuk has appeared in the doorway, “There you are, Hoseok, have you seen Hyungwon? He had said he was going to the restroom but we cannot find him… He’s been gone almost as long as you.”

Your eyes cut to Hoseok who stands, avoiding your gaze, as he moves to the door of your bedroom. He’s looking around outside of your room like he’ll magically find Hyungwon just standing there. Minhyuk’s frown as he looks at you speaks a few things you don’t care to identify as they both move down the hall. Had Hyungwon heard you both talking about him? Your face turns a red color as you think about everything you had just talked about with Hoseok and you find yourself chewing your bottom lip as worry peaks to an all-time high. 

Kihyun appears in your doorway next, eyes wandering over your whole room before he moves on down the hall. Was Hyungwon really missing? Before another of the boys can come to inspect your room, you move out of it to wander the halls of your home in search of the tallboy. When the lot of you convene in the kitchen, all empty-handed, Kihyun turns and pulls out his phone to dial the missing boy. You catch his gaze as the call is answered and your brother immediately distances himself from all of you before he responds to whatever Hyungwon is saying to him over the line. 

Your eyes turn to Hoseok who expertly avoids your gaze. To Minhyuk, who does the same and finally Hyunwoo, who offers you a blank stare. All their eyes seem to look at each other at the same time as if on the same wave-length before they move from the kitchen to leave you standing there confused. 

As you finally emerge from the kitchen, everyone but Kihyun seems to have disappeared. Your brother seems to be in a heated text conversation with someone and even though you’re curious, you force yourself back up the stairs. It seems their movie night had been cut short, your stomach-dropping, had this all been your fault as well?

* * *

Kihyun tosses his phone on the couch before he storms up the stairs, eyes blazing as he finds you in the middle of changing, “What the fuck did you say to Hyungwon tonight? Why would he leave because of you? What did you do, ________?”

The pure fury in your brother’s face scares you as you debate telling him what you and Hoseok had talked about. Your heart squeezes as you decide against it with a frown, “I haven’t talked to him all night. Why is one of your friends leaving my fault?”

“He mentioned you specifically! How can you not have said something to him if he claims you’re the reason he left? Does that make any sense to you? What did you say?!”

“Nothing!” you scream in response, offended your brother was treating you this harshly.

Hoseok had been wrong. If your brother cared for you at all, would he really treat you this way? Over his friend? 

He scoffs while shaking his pointer finger in your direction, “You really are becoming a brat lately. Do you think I cannot punish you still? I don’t care if you’re a legal adult. Kiss that damn phone and your freedom goodbye for the next month.”

“Kihyun!” you yell, hoping to plead your side.

He ignores you, slamming your bedroom door behind him as he leaves.


	4. Miss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon convinces your brother to let you go to NCT’s bi-weekly party, but you have no clue as to what is on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted from [tumblr](https://fantasia-minhyuk.tumblr.com/post/621750713304907776/status-in-progress-wc-2637-pairing-hyungwon-x).

“Hey,” you yell as Changkyun snatches one of your Cheetos from the bag on the table in front of you. You both had been meeting up for lunch lately since he couldn’t talk to you through text as you were still phone-less, “You could’ve at least asked!”

Changkyun smirks, “Like you asked to use me to make Hyungwon jealous?”

“That’s different,” you pout, shoving a cheesy puff into your mouth. The pout slowly morphing into a frown as you recall the Friday three weeks ago that had been the cause of your lack of technology. You were still worried about what your brother’s best friend, your crush, had overheard while you had talked with Hoseok that night. Had he heard everything since the beginning? Minhyuk had said he’d been missing for the same amount of time that Hoseok had been in your room. 

You release a breath and look up at Changkyun, he’s since captured your bag of Cheetos and had been unloading them into his mouth while you were thinking. He stops when he realizes you’ve caught him, “I’ll pay you back for them.”

Shaking your head, you move to stand as your class would start in 10 minutes and it always took you at least 20 to make it to the building across campus– you were already late. “I have to go,” you throw out before turning to make your exit. 

Your eyes catch Hyungwon at his usual spot across the campus cafe, surrounded by the usual circle of boys; and girls. It had been the first time you had allowed yourself to look that way in weeks, your anger at him for whatever he had said to your brother had been what made you pretend he didn’t exist. Not that you could forgive him. Kihyun hadn’t taken your phone away since high school and the fact that it was still a relevant punishment irked you. Not only had it hindered meeting up with your friends, but also communicating with your coursemates about homework.

You stir from your inner thoughts when you realize someone is holding the door open for you and look behind you to find Hyungwon staring at you. He follows behind you as you continue walking, the boys were used to you not thanking them for small notions as such since they had been doing it for years now. What’s odd is how he matches your pace as you take a brisk walk towards the science building across campus where you’re sure Mr. Andrews is already marking you absent as you speak; being one of the professors who actually take attendance out of all of your classes.

Hyungwon is in his usual daily clothes, skinny dark-washed jeans and a button-up plaid shirt over some white tee you never understood how it looked so good on him. The buttons around his wrists are undone as he lifts his hand to brush his bangs back, the sleeve covering his hand almost completely as he does so. Your brisk pace seemingly nothing to him as if it’s his usual walking pace when you know for sure that Hyungwon traded a few people to get a dorm room in the middle of all his class buildings so he wouldn’t have to rush. 

It’s when you’re approaching the Science building that he finally explains his presence, “You’re going to the party tonight, right?”

Hesitantly you glance his way once more before focusing back on your goal, the class you’re already 10 minutes late to, “No, I have a paper to write. Due Monday.” You take the steps two at a time only pausing when long fingers wrap around your arm and halt your progress.

“Come to the party.” The look he gives you when you stare back him is strange, pleading. He wants you at the party, even though he had never mentioned it before when you didn’t go to a party your brother and his friends attended. 

You try to pull your arm from his grip, but he doesn’t let go and you sigh, “Fine.”

Hyungwon pushes you off with a smile and walks down the few feet to what you knew was his dorm building. 

With a shake of your head, you enter the Science building, reciting your usual pep talk of how you’re a bad bitch when you approach Mr. Andrew’s class and step inside - not missing the glare he shoots you as you apologize before taking your usual seat.

* * *

* * *

You’re smiling, eyes focused on Hoseok as he dances with you surrounded by the usual crowd. It had been a miracle when Kihyun had come to you when he got home from campus and told you to get ready. The mention of NCT’s bi-weekly party had been news to you as he hadn’t been interested in inviting you to the last few parties that he had attended on campus. Not that you were complaining. Sure, you had told Hyungwon you would be here, but that was just so he wouldn’t keep you from class. You really did have a paper due Monday, but you hadn’t said you finished it already. Why should you? It’s not like you expected your brother to let you come.

Hoseok lays his forehead against yours as you both dance, his hands on your waist helping to focus you on your dancing, “I’m glad you were allowed to come tonight.” He whispers between you. 

When the song fades into another, you pull away and point towards the keg to let him know your intentions before weaving through the crowd towards your destination. You look towards the couches your brother and his friends had taken over upon their arrival, NCT guys sprinkled in here and there, and shake your head. Hyungwon was the one that invited you, yet there he sat between girls and his friends being his normal self. It was frustrating. What had been his purpose in inviting you to begin with?

You make it to the front of the line, Taeil greets you warmly as he immediately starts filling a cup for you, “It’s been a while,” he greets.

“Yeah, I’ve been grounded by Kihyun for the past few weeks,” you shrug and accept the cup when he hands it to you, “How’ve you been?”

“Fine,” he mirrors your shrug, “Taeyong has been asking about you.”

You take a huge gulp of the beer he had just handed you, wishing you could avoid this conversation, but unfortunately no one was behind you in the line. You were at Taeil’s mercy now. “Oh, how has he been?”

“Heartbroken? You two were hot and heavy there for a while and then you just stopped coming to the parties and wrote him off?”

You frown into your cup of alcohol as your eyes scan the room. If Taeyong showed up any minute now, you knew you would be in trouble. While you knew Taeil was just looking out for his friend, Taeyong was hardly heartbroken over your departure. It wasn’t a secret how he had moved on quite easily after you stopped showing up at NCT’s parties and you weren’t even the slightest bit upset about it. What you had with Taeyong was fun, but that’s it. “Sorry,” you finally throw out and move to escape.

Contrary to your thoughts, Hyungwon’s eyes have been focused on you since you started swaying with Hoseok on the dance floor. He panicked each time you dared to glance his way and now as he watched the exchange between you and the guy working the keg, he couldn’t stop himself from standing and making his way towards you. Girls and even your brother forgotten as he wraps an arm over your shoulders and pulls you along to the porch out back. He doesn’t miss NCT’s president staring you both down as you make your way outside and finally releases you when you lean against the ledge.

“Thanks for that,” you comment before taking another sip of beer, “I should have asked Kihyun who was hosting the party,” you add on before staring down into the red solo cup, “My mistake.”

Hyungwon laughs, pushing his hair back before he rests his hip against the ledge and turns to you, “Have you dated someone in every frat or just the ones that usually host parties?”

You side-eye him before turning to him as well, “No and besides, Changkyun isn’t in a frat.”

“Only because he thinks he’s bigger than them,” Hyungwon scoffs, “What did you even see in him anyway?”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, eyes drifting over the people getting shit-faced in the backyard and wondering what exactly he was getting at. Sure, Changkyun wasn’t morally above the frat lifestyle, but he had been there when you needed him to be. That’s all you really expected out of him, despite everyone else’s claims. “Maybe,” you sigh, “I just wanted someone on my side.”

Hyungwon turns away from you, leaning his arms against the ledge and checking out the Jell-O wrestling down in the yard before he speaks, “I don’t think you realize just how many people are on your side, babe. You even took Hoseok, the one I was sure would boot me out of being Kihyun’s best friend within days - yet he took to you.”

“That’s different,” you counter, still avoiding him as much as possible, “the guys have some kind of allegiance to my brother. Changkyun was on my side from the beginning.”

“Only because your brother hated everything about him,” Hyungwon added.

“And maybe I wanted someone that would piss Kihyun off,” you admitted, taking another sip of beer, “I’m in college, I should be allowed to make my own decisions and Changkyun let me.”

Hyungwon turns to you then, inching just a bit closer to take your chin and force you to face him, “That’s not fair. Any of us would willingly do that even if it upsets your brother.” He lets his hand fall from your chin and tries to keep serious but a smile starts to break on his face as he turns away, “Well, except me, everyone knows I’m his bitch.”

You try not to laugh, but it bubbles out of your chest as you lean against the ledge. It had been a long-running joke that many of the guys thought that Hyungwon was into your brother even when he bedded countless girls since his freshman year in college. It didn’t help that Hyungwon was always the one that your brother called upon when you were acting up and trying to prove your independence. Which in turn seemed to be the reason Hyungwon hated being around you for a while, so that fueled the joke more to the point that they were picking Kihyun and Hyungwon’s china patterns out.

Hyungwon coughs into his fist, glad to finally see you shake off whatever had upset you while you were inside. He smiles over at you, having missed seeing you laugh so wholeheartedly, “It’s a shame my interests are not even remotely around your brother. Not that he’d ever have accepted me anyways.”

When you straighten, solo cup out of mind, you face Hyungwon once more and stare up into his eyes. Earlier you hadn’t noticed the grey contacts or that his hair had grown so much since you even plucked up the courage to look his way. He had changed his button-up plaid and tee combo for a very loose-fitting cotton shirt that you were sure would’ve been hanging off one shoulder if he let it. You wrinkle your nose, “It would be a waste if the great Hyungwon had been wasting all his talents on us females if he really wanted my brother.”

“Well, not females,” he whispers and pushes away from the ledge to circle back towards the frat house. He pauses only for a moment, expecting you to react to what he said, but when you don’t he leaves you alone.

You debate the meaning of him correcting you. Who would it affect if not all the girls he’s slept with since he joined your brother’s friend group in middle school? You’re not given much time to ponder that thought when Hoseok walks out onto the porch, his hair mussed, clothes wrinkled and the smile on his face denoting he’d had a good time while you had been distracted by Hyungwon. You lean back on your arms against the railing and raise a brow at him, “Someone had fun.”

He’s in the middle of trying to straighten his shirt when he hears your words and starts choking as he approaches you, “What does that mean?”

You raise your pointer finger and run it down the front of him, “I’ve known you long enough to know what your post-sex look is,” you comment, your eyes turning to gaze at his ankles.

He follows your eyes, “What are you looking at?”

You grin, your eyes moving back to his, “Still have trouble taking those socks off, huh? There’s some jizz on them.”

Hoseok immediately wraps his arm around your neck, pulling you against his body before he runs his free knuckles over the top of your head, “Quit paying so much attention. You’re the worst best friend ever!”

Despite his rough treatment of you, you’re laughing and swatting at his chest to let you free. Kihyun is the one that comes out and frees you from Hoseok’s chokehold before telling you that it was time to go. One of the conditions for being allowed to go to this party was your accepting that when Kihyun said it was time to leave that you would leave with him no questions asked. Hoseok pulls you into a crushing hug before you say your goodbyes and follow Kihyun out of NCT’s house. You weren’t expecting Kihyun to lead you to Hyungwon’s car, his best friend was normally the one that drove them home, but you figured he would’ve gone to prove his heterosexuality since your talk on the porch. 

“Hyungwon is staying the night,” Kihyun informs you when you’ve both situated yourself in the car.

“Afraid to find a parking space this late at night?”

Kihyun gives a sharp intake of breath as warning, but his best friend ignores it.

“Nah, it’s usually empty right now. It fills up around 5 AM when everyone is ready to admit their wrongs and head home.”

You hum in response, but wonder why he decided to stay over. Kihyun wasn’t exactly the best host when it came to having people stay over - Hoseok coming to crash in your room had been proof of that. Minhyuk whining at your door until you kicked him out was another. However, Hyungwon had always stuck to your brother’s room, so maybe he wasn’t completely horrible as a host. You shrug, what did it matter anyway.

The riddle he left you with on the porch comes back and steals your focus for the rest of the ride home.


	5. Play it Cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon tries to talk to you, but is conveniently blocked by his best friend and even your ex. what is he supposed to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted from [tumblr](https://fantasia-minhyuk.tumblr.com/post/623991314974916608/status-in-progress-wc-4158-pairing-hyungwon-x).

You’re sitting in the loft, feet tucked under a fleece while you thumb through at least ten channels a minute in search of something that could entertain you. A body-shaped figure passes over the window behind the tv and causes you to turn seeing Hyungwon as he rounds the couch and takes up the only available seat left on the two-seater. He doesn’t hesitate to grab the end of the fleece around your feet to place over his lap as he settles in and stares at the tv to take in what you’re up to. Loud moans pull your attention back to the tv and your thumb hits the up arrow so fast you’re sure the button could break when Hyungwon doubles over in laughter at your side. 

“I never knew Kihyun let you watch fifty shades,” he gets out between breaths.

You glower at him, crossing your arms just under your chest as you debate tossing the tv remote at him, “He doesn’t,” you roll your eyes as you think back to what you had seen of the movie before changing the channel. Even if Kihyun did allow you to watch such risqué films at home, you’re not sure you could actually stomach to watch it knowing that your brother was just down the hall and could hear all the moaning. If he was next to you, forget about it. You would die from embarrassment. However, with your girls, anything was on the table. The cooking show you had landed on relaxes you as you watch the chefs cook up some Italian dish that you could not place a name to as you’ve never been familiar with Italian aside from spaghetti with meatballs. “What brings you to my neck of the house?”

Hyungwon shrugs, watching the prawns be cut up after having been boiled, “Kihyun kicked me out of his room. I think it’s that girl-” His voice dies as you turn to him, almost bouncing in your seat as if you had just been given one of the best Christmas presents since you were born.

“Kihyun has a girlfriend?”

Your couch mate coughs into his hand as he moves around uneasily on his seat, “Not yet,” he amends with a shake to his head as if scolding himself for letting the cat out of the bag. “He’s deeply crushing right now.”

“Who is she? Is she in the same year as him? Is she also a culinary arts major?”

Hyungwon tries not to break under the bombardment of questions coming his way, sure he was already going to hell by breaking one of the more prominent best friend rules, but he wasn’t interested in completely burying Kihyun just yet. Instead, he turns his attention back to the pasta that had been prepared with the prawns, his mouth watering as he took in the creamy sauce, “Do you think they have something like that around here?”

You give him the diversion, glancing back at the tv to see the pasta just before they cut to another restaurant, “I doubt it. At least not authentic.” You watch a few more moments of the new restaurant, the riddle from earlier cropping up, but you push it down to tackle the question you had been pondering over before that, “Why did you invite me to the party?”

He avoids your eyes when you turn to take him in, trying your best to read his expression but he makes it so difficult. You debate if he forgot asking you to be there and sigh. What good was it to drive yourself crazy over all the questions Hyungwon gave you when he refused to offer up any of the answers. You weren’t Nancy Drew and the ongoing suspense was upsetting to a painful degree. 

“I had wanted to see you,” he says without the slightest bit of irony, “Unfortunately, your brother invoked best friend code so that he wouldn’t be alone when his crush was there. Thus, I was stuck between him, his crush, and the rest of the guys.”

“And your normal school of floozies.” 

He doesn’t take offense to it, no matter where he or the rest of their group was there were always girls to accompany them. Hyungwon had never thought much of it, objectively his friends were good looking, and the attention wasn’t anything they weren’t used to. Kihyun and he had been quite popular since high school when they started to come into their own - the few added bodies wasn’t a big difference. The real difference was Kihyun who found this girl that finally made him slow down and notice the people around him. The new attention scared Hyungwon. “It is what it is,” he shrugs and shuffles closer to you.

“Thanks for saving me at the party, I know I already said it, but I mean it,” you hug yourself, pulling your feet in tighter against your body as your mind drifts from the cooking show.

“I should’a stepped in sooner,” he frowns, but turns towards you and places his feet on the couch between you. “How come you never told Kihyun you were avoiding NCT?”

You reciprocate his action by turning to face him on the couch, “I just wanted to get out of the house. It was my fault not to ask him what party he was going to. There were two options and I took the chance and once I was there, there was no point to cut and run.”

Hyungwon looks past you, his eyes going down the hall where your brother’s bedroom door is to judge how much time he has left. He hadn’t been giving time much thought until now when you’ve finally let down your guard some and were letting him finally have a real conversation with you without Hoseok or Kihyun interrupting you. The door is still shut tight and he decides to keep his ear open so that he knows when to bow out before his best friend has a field day. He might not be Kihyun’s bitch, but he was very aware that the title came from a form of truth in regard to how he treated his relationship with your brother. “I was serious in my offer earlier, any of us would willingly let you call the shots if you wanted to get out of the house for a while.”

“I’m kind of jonesing for cheesecake now,” you frown noting the time, “I guess I’ll have to get one tomorrow when I get up.”

“I’ll-” Kihyun’s door cracks open and Hyungwon jumps up, stopping only after he’s made it to the other side of the couch, “I’ll text you later,” he smiles before heading off down the hallway to meet your brother at the door to his room. 

* * *

_Thank god for the weekend_ is your first thought when you wake and see that it’s almost noon. Your next thought is somewhere along _what the fuck_ when you grab your phone and notice the notifications on the screen. Apparently, Hoseok was still holding a grudge from you picking on him for getting jizz on his sock last night - how were his quirky habits while having sex your problem? The next is Taeyong who seemed disappointed by your early disappearance from NCT’s party last night. A handful of messages from Kihyun complaining about Hyungwon dragging him out at 4 AM for some reason. The last from Hyungwon telling you to check out the fridge and to text him when you woke up. 

Curiosity pulled you from your warm bed, padding down the stairs and into the kitchen without faltering to the fridge. The boys weren’t home, so you pondered if your brother was punishing Hyungwon for dragging him out of the house at 4 AM for god knows what reason. You push that to the back of your mind as you open the fridge and are greeted by the packaging you recognize as **Ultimate Cheesecake** with a start, grabbing the packaging as if it could disappear before your eyes without you even getting your hands on it. You sidetrack to grab a fork before sitting down at the kitchen table as your eyes read over the note you recognize as Hyungwon’s handwriting. 

You laugh and open the container to the prettiest blueberry cheesecake you have seen in a while. How did he even get them to give extra whipped cream? Without much ado, you pierce the cake with your fork and bring the piece to your mouth, smiling as you enjoy the sweet and tangy mix. Unlocking your phone with a glance, you press Hyungwon’s texts.

You take another forkful of cheesecake, pressing it into the mountain of whipped cream as you wait for a reply. The sigh that leaves your mouth after your craving from last night is fulfilled is heartfelt and you cannot believe Hyungwon actually pulled through with it. 

* * *

You’re walking to your 9 AM class, mind in a haze and tired beyond acceptable, when you feel the weight on your back that almost knocks you to the ground. A second later, their arm wraps around your neck and Hoseok grins over at you, pushing a paper cup with a cardboard sleeve into your hand. You offer a smile as you take a sip, the coffee wakes you up and you almost feel alive for the first time on a Monday morning this semester. “You’re a godsend, Hoseok,” you thank as he squeezes you to his side before finally releasing you.

“Mondays usually kick your ass and I already sat through my 6 AM lecture.” 

“6 AM?” you whine, taking another generous sip of coffee as he walks you to your first class of the day, “You’re crazy. That’s just way too early.”

“I’ve been told that,” he admits, hiking his bag further up his shoulder as his eyes scan the rest of the college kids around you both, also seeming to drag ass, “I’m actually heading to the gym now. I have a physical conditioning class at twelve.”

Your eyes bulge as you try not to take another huge gulp of coffee, “Isn’t that just another gym class? Are you literally at the gym all day?”

“When I’m lucky,” he laughs, “So are you technically still grounded? Kihyun hasn’t mentioned anything about it since Friday.”

You shrug, the building of your destination on the near horizon as you think on it, “He didn’t exactly say I wasn’t in trouble anymore, but he did give back my phone. It probably happened around the time Hyungwon kidnapped him at 4 AM as a way to make sure if he went missing that someone knew who was responsible, but I think Hyungwon is the one that needs saving now.”

When you reach your building, you push Hoseok off towards the gym, ignoring his complaints as you walk inside and rush to the lecture hall. The coffee had helped, but you were still way too tired to function and you make a note to never book another class before noon again.

It’s well past 7 PM when you venture out from your study group. You stop a foot outside the door when your eyes land on not one, but two familiar bodies leaning against the hall across from the room your group had booked for the study sesh. On one side is Changkyun, back pressed lazily against the wall with his eyes on the ground. Jeans ripped and modified with black cloth patches and a range of phrases about anarchy against the system. His shirt is also black, the sleeves cut off and it leads up to his head of hair that’s beneath a black beanie with safety pins adorning it. The look is familiar with the Changkyun you used to date that found those clothes to be a special armor before he got used to life on campus.

The other side was Hyungwon, skinny jeans that looked freshly pressed and lead up to an oversized gray ¾ sleeved shirt with red and blue stripes around the bottom of the wide sleeves which hang loosely around his forearm. It’s an interesting look for him and you wonder if it’s actually his shirt as he approaches you, eyes sliding back to Changkyun for only a moment before he stops in front of you, “I was told to pick you up. Kihyun’s command.”

Changkyun perks up then, finally realizing it’s you in the doorway as he pulls out his AirPods and moves towards you, “You’re finished? I was going to take you to that place that serves iced churros.”

It’s only after he speaks that he recognizes the body already next to you and smirks, “Unless you’re already busy,” he winks at Hyungwon who ignores him. You bite down on your bottom lip to stop the laugh as you look back at your brother’s best friend who does not seem the least bit happy with your ex-boyfriend’s appearance. Out of Kihyun’s whole group of friends, not one of them disliked Changkyun almost as much as your brother himself, as Hyungwon did. 

Knowing this and trying to keep them separated were two different problems entirely. Changkyun was always around you as your history together meant you had each other’s backs and Hyungwon’s sudden interest in your company was not unwanted in the least. The grin on Changkyun’s face meant he read you like a book and if he couldn’t, he had insider knowledge of your interest in your brother’s best friend since that party when Kihyun leveled him with the ground. You try to ignore it as you focus on Hyungwon, “Can we get churros before going home?”

The high-pitched laugh that escapes Changkyun as Hyungwon stares at you incredulously has you in stitches. You grab Hyungwon’s arm and force him along, Changkyun cackling still as he walks on your other side, but doesn’t try to change your mind. Iced Churros and coffee had been a go-to snack for you and Changkyun after your study sessions on campus since you two dated; similar to your lunch dates. 

Changkyun is the one that opens the door for **I Donut You** , the twenty-four-hour joint you both had discovered a while back. The coffee was better than the overly-sugary mess that was Starbucks and the donuts were melt in your mouth diabetes. The real game-changer had been when you discovered their iced churros and as they say, the rest is history. You let Changkyun order the churros as you pull Hyungwon to your favorite booth by the old-timey jukebox that was playing a soft lo-fi song instead of a top 40 song from back in the 80s. 

Hyungwon swings into the side with you, happy that you’re still hanging onto his bicep as you bop your head to the song playing. He moves along with you, smiling down at you, “So this is where you would disappear with Changkyun late at night?”

Your eyes find your ex still in line before turning to your brother’s friend, “This is our secret,” you point your finger at him, “If I find out that Kihyun knows, I will never talk to you again.” It’s not much of a threat, you know that, but this really was a hidden gem. It’s been your favorite spot for a few semesters and the owners knew you and Changkyun by face and name. So it’s not the least bit surprising when the owner’s wife stops at your table, a pot of coffee in one hand, “____ is this the handsome brother you’ve always told us about?”

Hyungwon looks at you for a second, but you avoid his gaze.

“No, no, Mrs. Jeannette, this is his friend Hyungwon.”

Mrs. Jeannette leans across the table conspiratorially, “Honey, you need to catch this one. He looks like a very handsome and reliable guy.”

You could not even describe how embarrassed you were at that moment with one word. Your face was on fire and you were sure your ears were bright red as you finally let go of Hyungwon’s arm to shake your hands in front of you, “No, no, Mrs. Jeannette, we’re just friends. He promised my brother he would bring me home from school. You know Kihyun, he worries.”

“Hot churros,” Changkyun’s deep voice calls from behind Mrs. Jeannette who moves just enough to let him through. He wraps the owner’s wife in a side-hug before sliding into the booth seat opposite you and Hyungwon. She pinches his cheek as he divvies out the churros, even plopping a basket down in front of an unsuspecting Hyungwon who stares down at the sugary treat. Eyes growing wider as he hands him a cup o’ joe as well. The gifts were endless tonight it seemed.

You eye your ex skeptically, “Someone is in a good mood tonight. How much do I owe you?”

Changkyun shakes off the offer as Mrs. Jeannette grabs the tray before departing your booth. He catches the look on your face as he stuffs his with the iced churro, licking his lips of the cinnamon and sugar before taking a sip of coffee. The black aromatic coffee cut the churro just enough to prevent the inevitable sugar rush that would hit on your way home from campus. He watched quietly as Hyungwon guardedly took his first bite of the churro. If he hadn’t been awake before, the moment that the glucose hits it lights up his face. However, the bitter coffee has him choking on the liquid as he leans away from the table to hack out a lung on the shop’s diner tiled flooring. It pulls a victorious smile to his face. 

You’ve been quietly observing Hyungwon and Changkyun while munching on your snack. Changkyun is not the least bit bothered by having your brother’s best friend hanging around despite this having been a you-and-him thing since forever ago. And it was becoming apparent that Hyungwon would probably die from diabetes early if you let him come eat at **I Donut You** anymore than once a month. He couldn’t even handle black coffee when paired with a sweet treat. You pat his back when he sits back in the booth, “You ok?”

His voice is a bit raw and husky when he replies, “Is there any cream?”

Changkyun wordlessly stands to go grab the cream for him.

You massage Hyungwon’s neck as he relaxes some more, “Sorry about that, we don’t usually use the cream or sugar so he never grabs it. It’s just habit by now to not take it.”

Hyungwon stuffs the last piece of churro into his mouth, “It’s fine.”

Changkyun sets the cream and sugar caddy down in front of Hyungwon before getting back into his seat and taking another sip of his coffee. He had always been a badass since you’d met him. You had a similar reaction to the black coffee the first time you had tried it, but Changkyun had never even blinked. He sipped it down like sweet tea and kept going. The coffee was more of a mechanism to keep him bright-eyed and bushy-tailed before he would head to a bar off campus where he worked as a busboy while the owner taught him how to mix drinks. “So, Hyungwon,” your ex calls looking downright devilish, “What do you think of our _____?”

Your foot thrust out under the table and nails Changkyun in the leg. When he winces from the strike and rubs his shin, a laugh bubbles out of him, but he doesn’t change his question.

Hyungwon is pouring five more packets of sugar into his coffee as he takes in the exchange, “What do you mean?”

Changkyun raises his empty coffee cup to notify Mrs. Jeannette that he would like some more before he answers, “She’s cute, right?”

You try to kick him again, wishing like hell he could just mind his own business, but he avoids your foot as if he could read your mind - since you had barely breathed since he asked. 

“Even if you’re her brother’s best friend. She’s cute, right? Objectively.”

Hyungwon’s dark brown eyes slide to you as he mixes in the sugar with a spoon, those eyes raking over you in total before he nods, “Yeah, she’s cute.” He drifts back to his cup on the table, the contents more like a molasses as he lifts it to his lips to take a sip. 

You couldn’t see it as you denied yourself from looking at Hyungwon, but Changkyun could see it clearly, the red climbing up your brother’s friend’s neck as he tried to play it cool. _So it’s mutual_ , he theories, his lips sucking down the black liquid from his cup as he watches. He raises his left eyebrow, the piercing tugging at his skin while he contemplates whether he should clue you in or let this ride out over the next few, possible, months. His fingers drum against the side of his mug as he votes to leave you in the dark - you had used him. It was your own fault.

Hyungwon’s phone vibrating in his pocket is the only thing that lessens the tension as he pulls it out. His eyes widen as he excuses himself to go stand just next to the shop’s entrance to answer the phone.

“Where are you? I thought you would come home with her right after her study group meeting.”

Hyungwon sucks on his bottom lip before releasing it, “I took her out for a snack since you said you would be busy with Seola,” he tries to keep his voice level; he was lying through his teeth after all. Kihyun would be pissed if he couldn’t even make this believable.

“Oh, yeah, cool. You could’ve just texted me about the change of plans. She isn’t being a brat, right? Just tell me and I can extend her punishment.”

Hyungwon laughs, leaning against the window with the **I Donut You** painted in red letters outlined with white. The funky donuts decorating the window keeping him from having a clear view outside of the shop, “No, she’s just being herself. We should be home within the hour since she’s almost done eating.”

“Don’t let her con you into going somewhere else,” Kihyun laughs before clacking comes through the line as if he’s typing something up, “She can persuade Hoseok to break into a public pool, so I wouldn’t put it past her to try something on you. Just draw the line at animal sacrifice and you should be okay.”

Hyungwon licks his bottom lip, you hardly understood the intricacies of any kind of witchcraft or voodoo to comply with what your brother was charging you with. However, he shrugs and turns to look back at the booth you’re still occupying with Changkyun, “I’ll do my best,” he hums then looks down at his shoes, “How did your talk with Seola go?”

“I found out she likes jellies,” he laughs into the line, “She also wants to learn how to cook, so I kind of, offered to teach her on Fridays?”

“Wow, congrats, man,” Hyungwon enthused, genuinely excited for his friend, “It’s better to just get closer to her naturally so she understands you want more than just one night with her. I usually avoid that kind of stuff, but I know you can do it. You’ve been making tremendous progress this whole semester.”

“I’ve been trying,” Your brother agrees before sighing, “I’ll let you go. Just make sure to get my sister back before tomorrow.”

“You got it, bro,” Hyungwon laughs before ending the call.


	6. Misbehave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon finally makes his move,,, question mark?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted from [tumblr](https://fantasia-minhyuk.tumblr.com/tagged/s%3A-i%27m-fine).

You catch the read notification and wait for a few minutes. Hoseok wasn’t big on chick flicks even if he submitted himself to them whenever you both hung out together. This is Friday night and despite his good boy aura, he was still the same friend you had had to jump to the rescue of from his last one-night stand which had involved three girls. You didn’t even know he could accomplish that within the time he had been away from you at the party last weekend, but you had definitely been wrong.

You lean back against the couch in the loft, finger pressing into the up arrow on the remote to turn up the volume as the old movie begins to play. 

“Why is she always paired with Tom Hanks?”

The voice makes you scream as you jump up off the couch to find Hyungwon coming around the corner by the stairs. You hold a hand to your chest as you stare the intruder down, “Hyungwon, what are you doing here?”

Your brother’s best friend raises his hand holding his phone, waving it slightly, “Orders from Kihyun. I’m supposed to keep you out of trouble.”

You roll your eyes before lowering yourself back onto the couch to quickly rewind the film to where you were before Hyungwon gave you a heart attack. He takes up the spot at the end of the couch, relaxing back into the cushions without giving you another glance as he focuses on the screen. You can barely hear him scoff before he mocks Meg Ryan, “It’s a sign.”

You pause the movie to look over at him, “Are you going to do that the whole time?”

Hyungwon hums and scoots closer to you, his right arm shuffling behind your shoulders when he comes to a stop, “Are you going to tell me that if your mother’s wedding dress ripped after someone proposed to you that you would take it as a sign not to marry them?”

“I don’t believe in signs or fate,” you shrug.

Hyungwon grins, “That’s what Meg Ryan said.”

You level him with your own look, “And if you had let it get further into the film you would see that the dress ripping hadn’t changed her mind about marrying Walter.”

Hyungwon shifts to face the television again, leaving his arm behind your shoulders, “Fine, let the movie play, but if she doesn’t end up with Walter by the end of the movie then she obviously played into the whole fate thing.”

You roll your eyes but press play anyways. You listen carefully, waiting for Hyungwon to make some comment when the men at Meg Ryan’s job comment on how impossible it is for women over the age of forty to get married, but he stays silent. In fact, he watches with rapt attention when the ball drops for New Years, his thumb ghosting along your right shoulder. Hyungwon even chokes when Tom Hank’s son asks if he’d have sex with one of the many women who have sent a letter to him from the radio show. He adjusts himself, leaning heavier on you, but never letting his focus steer away from the screen. 

You’re not even sure when it was that you stopped paying attention to Hyungwon or anything outside of the movie. The only thing you’re sure of is the tears in your eyes, the drying trails on your cheeks, and the warm hand that belongs to Hyungwon holding you tight to his side. When you look over at him, he’s flicking tears from his own cheeks while trying to make it look cool. It makes you laugh as you give him your full attention. “Are you still going to complain about the basis of the movie?”

Hyungwon clears his throat and rubs at his eyes once more before he answers, “Fate is still a stupid concept. Why are ladies so obsessed with finding someone that makes them believe in magic or like some cosmic force is behind their union?”

You reach out and take his hand before he can rub at his eyes again, “Maybe because guys are so horrible at expressing their feelings in general, so sometimes we want something to help us believe that he likes us just as much as we like him.”

Hyungwon’s eyes focus, a serious look taking over his face, “What would you have to hear from a guy for you to know he’s serious about you?”

Internally, he’s already beating himself up. Why would he ask you that question?

You tilt your head, thoughts racing over the question. What would it even take for you to know? You breathe out slowly as you try to form the exact phrase that would make you believe in magic or fate, but it eludes you. “I’m not sure,” you answer honestly, “It’s not something you know as a fact, it’s more instinctual. Once I hear it, I’ll know, but as I said earlier I don’t believe in signs or fate.”

A ding from Hyungwon’s phone pulls his attention even though you could tell there was something on the tip of his tongue. Words you would probably never hear as his face skews into a pout. 

A sharp sense of panic floods Hyungwon. He had just lied to his best friend. Something he has been doing a lot lately when it comes to you and he wasn’t sure why he couldn’t just tell Kihyun that he was interested in you. 

“Are you leaving?”

Your voice makes him pause as he realizes he’s already standing and shoving his phone into the front pocket of his jeans. This is what lying to your brother made him do subconsciously. “Uh, yeah,” he sighs, “I have some things I want to do before the night is over.”

“It’s almost 2 AM,” you counter, raising a brow, “What could possibly be that important?”

Hyungwon chews his plump bottom lip as he shifts on his feet. Lying to you, that was something he couldn’t do. He runs his hand down his face, “Kihyun is on his way home and-” 

You watch him, he clearly is in full panic mode. 

“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Hyungwon finally lets out. “He thinks I went out partying with the guys and that I am busy with some girl at my dorm.”

You let your head tilt to the side as you take in everything he’s told you. Why did Hyungwon tell your brother that he went to the party and why was his cover being his usual jerk self with some girl at his apartment when he was with you? 

Hyungwon brushes his long hair back, “I’ll see you later.”

He’s already down the stairs and out the door before you register that he’s leaving.

* * *

By the time that Hyungwon makes it back to his dorm, it’s 3 AM. He unlocks his phone as he tosses his body down over his unmade bed and opens up the thread between you and him as he debates writing to you. He had left so abruptly after telling you all of that and - what were you thinking? Have you finally figured out how weird he is now? How different he is when it comes to you? 

He stares at the screen until it goes to sleep and the only thing he can see is his hopeful face staring back at him. He wanted you to be awake still. There was also the question from earlier nagging at him. His own voice on repeat in his ears: _what could he say that would prove to you that **he** liked you?_ That had been his real question because he did like you. A ding and the screen of his phone lighting up pulls his attention.

“Why are you asking that?” he questions aloud. Were you curious about who he would pick between you and some nonexistent girl? Had you not understood what he said before he left? He runs his left hand over his face as he stares up at his phone screen. Were you just messing with him now? Was this some kind of game you were playing now that you were privy to his feelings? 

Hyungwon smiles, sucking his bottom lip as he reads your message a few times over. He liked to think he knew you fairly well since he grew up with you being your brother’s best friend. Sure, he would never know you as well as Hoseok, but he still liked to believe he knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t snitch on him to his friends. Telling your brother was nothing, you both knew that, since Kihyun tended to take Hyungwon’s side on everything. 

A notification from Kihyun has him flipping over to the other thread.

_It’s a trap_ , Hyungwon’s mind screams at him. Had your brother figured out why he had been acting so differently when you’re around and was waiting for him to admit it? His teeth dig into his lip as he notices the number of replies waiting for him in the thread with you. He flips to your thread, his mind a mass of chaos as he tries to think of a reply to what your brother said.

Hyungwon releases a weak chuckle, more air than sound. There was no way he could pretend nothing happened tonight; he wasn’t the same Hyungwon you had known growing up. Sure, he made dumb decisions, but they started to decrease the more he realized how much he wanted you in his life. Another notification from Kihyun pulls him out of your thread again.

It honestly _was_ the plan. Originally he was going to ask you to go to the party with him next weekend, which is why he had really gone to your house. He sighs and shifts on his bed to get comfortable by rolling onto his side while looking at his phone still. 

That’s how he ends up outside of your last class on Friday, hands shoved into his skinny jeans while he waits for you to finally appear in the doorway. He had been tip-toeing around you since last Friday after what he had told you, but the closer to the end of the week he got, the more he realized that maybe you had thought nothing of what he said. You probably just thought he was treating you as he would any of his friends. You were his best friend’s sister after all and by default that should make you a ‘bro’ or off-limits in many ways. 

Your bright smile when you notice him standing there makes his breath catch as he straightens while you make your way across the crowded hall towards him. You shuffle your bag higher on your shoulder while his eyes take in what you’re wearing. It is definitely not your usual party attire. You’ve got a loose cotton shirt hanging off one shoulder and pastel pink leggings hugging your legs tucked into atrocious Uggs, but he shakes the thought as he moves back to your eyes.

“Hey, I was wondering if I could change in your dorm? Maybe leave my bag there too?”

It surprised him that you even felt the need to ask. Wasn’t he just your brother’s minion at this point? He shrugs and takes the bag from your shoulder to hang on his, “Yeah.”

He watches you turn and skip towards the exit of the building, him following in your wake as you head towards his dorm. 

BTS had outdone themselves. Those four words seemed to be a constant among the frat party life since BTS’ birth in twenty-thirteen. The frat house was a mess of streamers, kegs, and drunken college students. The party had grown so big in size that most of it had spilled over onto the road between the frat houses and gained more momentum. Even with all that chaos, Hyungwon was still there with his arms wrapped around your waist while you both moved to the music blaring in the frat house. 

Hyungwon has his chin resting on your shoulder, his eyes roaming over the crowd of dancers, but his full attention is on you. He’s humming to the song while listening to you talk about some paper you have due in three weeks and how you were almost finished with the research part before you would start putting together the rough draft. You’re very conscious of the stares you’re getting from girls around the room, but it wouldn’t be the first time one of your brother’s friends garnered you unwanted attention - especially from past hook-ups. What was one more? You focus when you feel the plush of his lips against the side of your neck.

“What are you thinking about?”

This was new for you. Hyungwon noticing more than the girl that had his attention, but it was possible that it was you in this scenario, “I think I’m upsetting your harem.” You can feel his shoulders shift in a shrug as he pulls your body closer to him. If he was worried about them, you would have expected him to react differently than he was right now.

“Don’t worry about them,” he began, “I’m not.”

“If you talk like that, people are going to think you’re interested in me,” you joke.

Hyungwon’s long fingers squeeze your hips, his thumbs massaging into the muscles on the small of your back. You can almost sense the cogs in his brain turning and trying to put together some nonchalant fuck boy response that would coincide with his usual place in your life. Every variance of _they’ll get some later_ did nothing to prepare you for the words that actually came out of his mouth.

“Maybe I _am_ interested in you.”

You could feel your heart in your throat as you tried your best to continue dancing. It was a joke, it had to be. There was no way he would say those words and actually mean them. You were waiting, expecting Hyungwon to burst into his cute laugh that you would sometimes hear when he would joke among the boys during the days that they would play video games in the living room. The only change between when he said those words and now is how the music shifts into a slower, sensual song. Hyungwon takes the opportunity to spin you around so he can face you and see everything he couldn’t earlier. 

Hyungwon licks his plump lips as he pulls you back towards him, his gaze focused on your eyes as he watches you closely. Is the panic he’s feeling what drives people to wish they could read other’s minds? Were you always so quiet after he would say something? Did girls normally avoid looking at a guy after he mentioned having an interest in them? So many questions pop into his head as he tries his best to figure out your response, but all your expressions give him more questions than answers.

You’re saved, possibly, when arms wrap over your shoulders from behind. The black long sleeves giving way to who the arms belong to far before his voice manifests next to your ear, “Babe, I’ve been looking for you all over this party.”

You pull away from Hyungwon to turn and look at your best friend, the black shirt he’s wearing tops a pair of black skinnies that are so tight they were probably painted on - not that you were going to check. He’s grinning at you, knowing he’s getting between the two of you, but at this moment you weren’t put off by his need to be a pain in your butt for once. You welcomed his bratty behavior as he wrapped his arms back around your neck.

“Do you wear anything that’s not black?”

The voice comes from behind you and you feel the familiar weight of Hyungwon’s chin on your shoulder once more when he leans into you to ask your ex that question. 

Changkyun looks down at his outfit as if he cannot remember what he’s wearing, “Yeah, yeah, most of my stuff is black but I am adding some color. It’s just laundry day.”

You do your best not to facepalm or just hit Changkyun across the back of his head from his answer. Laundry day. That was his big explanation for why he was usually caught wearing all black when Hyungwon was in attendance. You sigh and look at your best friend. He had been looking at you the whole time that Hyungwon had been conversing with him, the way his eyes were hooded and he looked down the end of his nose at you, had you wishing you weren’t facing him now. That look brought back emotions from a time that you knew should not be revisited and, frankly, you didn’t want to revisit, but that didn’t erase the memories. 

Hyungwon’s lips are back at your neck and you shiver in his hold, “Are you ready to go home? You should work on that paper and I’ll drive you.”

You ignore Changkyun’s smirk and how he flicks his eyebrow in amusement. 

“Yeah, babe, you should let him take you home.”

You roll your eyes at him and turn towards your brother’s best friend, “Yeah, let’s go.”

You’re loaded into Hyungwon’s 2015 Honda Civic in fading silver, the windows rolled down as he blasts funky pop music. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel and the other one anchored to his face while he rubs his bottom lip in thought. The drive from campus to your house isn’t very long and maybe that’s why you had agreed to his offer since you weren’t wanting to rehash the statement he had blinded you with at the party. Hyungwon could have easily brought it up within the first ten minutes after leaving campus, but he’s been awfully quiet since he pulled you away from your ex.

You almost missed the playful banter.

You turn to look at him when he hits a red light just outside your neighborhood. Hyungwon glances your way and laughs when he sees you already looking at him. “What?”

You smile, shifting your focus away from him, “I was wondering when you changed so much. You’re kind of handsome.”

“Kind of?” he questions incredulously. “I **am** handsome and you _know_ it.” 

“You’re alright,” you snicker. It’s actually a stroke of luck when the light changes to green because Hyungwon isn’t able to rebut your claim on his looks. You start gathering your things as he turns onto the street that leads to your house, eyes never straying from your side of the car so that you’re ready to run if the need be. 

So close.

You’re so close to evacuating the car when Hyungwon pulls into the driveway, the door is already open as the cabin light illuminates the car, but your brother’s best friend grabs your hand before you can make it out of your seat. He holds you there until you face him. Hyungwon doesn’t even look concerned, his hand lifting to brush back his hair before he looks at you. He sniffs and relaxes, “We should talk about last Friday and today.”

Your silence makes him nervous. Worse is when you pull the door to his car closed again and face him. Hyungwon can read it on your face, the way you avoid his eyes even though you’re committed to having this conversation with him. He tries to stay calm as he views you, placing his hands on his thighs as he faces you with a question on his lips, “Are you and Changkyun a thing again?” He knows he’s messed up, closing his eyes as he wants to throw himself into any close fire - that had not been the question he wanted to be answered. He officially hated himself as much as you probably did at this moment; no, definitely more.

“Changkyun?” You are taken aback, you were sure this was going to be over him teasing you about liking you since last week, “As in like a couple? _HIM_?”

“You say that like you haven’t dated him before.”

You smack your lips, “I’m saying it like this because I have dated him and I’m telling you now, I’m not dumb enough to walk back into that trainwreck.”

His hand slides down your arm to hold your hand, fingers lacing between yours, “How about starting a new disaster with me?”


	7. Reckless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon makes one wrong move and the one he trusts to understand him the most in the world turns his back on him. does that mean you will as well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted from [tumblr](https://xlilybebe.tumblr.com/tagged/s%3A-i%27m-fine)

Hoseok is grinning at you. He has been grinning at you since he witnessed your duck and dash a mere moment ago when you noticed your brother walking through campus with Hyungwon. Unlike what he had been expecting, it seems you’ve become magnets that constantly reject each other instead of attracting. If you were being honest, it’s totally your fault as he’s tried his hardest to reach out to you the whole week that you’ve been avoiding him. 

“So,” Hoseok shuffles his feet before he levels his eyes back on you, “What _exactly_ are we doing right now?”

You take a sip of the milkshake he had grabbed for you as a cover, very aware of how your eyes keep drifting to your brother’s group of friends that happen to be at the same diner you had entered. Leaving now would be too obvious, so you take another long sip and try to avoid the side your brother is sitting on, “Just having a milkshake with my best pal.”

He raises a brow, eyes darting over to your brother’s group before shifting to straighten his back, “Incoming.”

Your eyes are quick to catch the lanky boy making his way towards your table in a mirror behind Hoseok. The major difference between the boy that had asked you to risk your heart a week ago and the one that’s making his way towards you now is the blonde bangs that frame his face. You hadn’t noticed the change since you had been avoiding him. It forces your eyes to meet his, a nervous smile stretching his lips when he stops next to the table you occupy with Hoseok.

“Hey,” he winces at his own voice, “What brings you two here?”

Hoseok crosses his arms over his chest, thoughts clearly set on messing with him, “Just on a casual Friday date. Are you heading out to the party later?”

Hyungwon’s eyes meet yours, “Are you?”

You shrug, deflecting the question by taking another sip of your milkshake. It hadn’t been in your plans for today, to be honest, and changing them now seemed like a hassle. The downside is that it feels as if Hyungwon can read that right from your mind as he leans one hand against your table to close the space between you.

“I have a paper to write so I won’t be going out tonight. Did you finish yours?”

Your eyes bore into your milkshake, a pout forming on your lips, “Not yet.”

Hoseok raises a brow but doesn’t say anything as he uncrosses his arms. He refocuses to Hyungwon, “That’s a shame you won’t make it. I’m sure Krystal was worried about you last time you missed out.”

Hyungwon’s eyes round out, his head turning back to check the table he had come from before he finds Hoseok again, “She already yelled at me. It’s fine.”

Hoseok hums but lets the conversation die there. He’s still staring into your soul, clearly having recognized your lie just as fast as you had uttered it. You slurp up the rest of your shake, ending your distraction from communicating maturely as you push the empty glass towards the center of the table. The look on your friend’s face when you see him is as if he’s asking for permission. You raise a brow at the silent question.

“Well, I’m gonna head out,” Hoseok comments as he stands and slaps Hyungwon on the shoulder. “Tell Kihyun we miss him at those frat parties. It’s weird without him.”

“I’ll mention it,” your brother’s best friend smiles at your shared friend’s departure. 

You scoot forward to also leave the booth you were occupying with Hoseok when Hyungwon slides in next to you before you can reach the edge. It forces you to move back into the booth, cheek pressed into the palm of your hand as you wait for him to turn and address you.

“Can I come over later?”

The question has your raising your eyebrows in shock as you stare at your brother’s best friend. You were certain he would question you about the conversation from the week prior. 

When you stay silent, he licks his lips nervously, “Look, YN, I know you. There’s no way you’re not already finished with your paper. I just want to hang out.”

“Even if I subject you to chick flicks?”

You see the wrinkle in his brow at the mention of one of your previous Friday hangout pastimes; it pulls a grin to your lips. He pinches his thick bottom lip as he contemplates his response and you shove his shoulder at his delay, “Forget about it if you have to think about it that hard.”

“No, no,” he’s quick to fix the atmosphere, “But does it have to be a chick flick?”

“I’ll even paint your nails.”

Hyungwon makes a face, pulling back from the idea of you painting his fingers. 

“He’d look good with pink nails,” a deep voice bellows from behind Hyungwon.

Changkyun comes into view, eyes accentuated by the thick liner that’s smudged out on the edges. He’s wearing a shirt that says **eat me** in small enough print that you have to squint to read it. His nails have a scary layer of matte black polish on random fingers as he leans onto the table, “Pink or baby blue, really. Something soft for the playboy.”

Hyungwon turns to your best friend, offering him a fist that he easily bumps his own against before taking over the opposite side of the table that had belonged to Hoseok previously. Your crush leans towards the boy in interest, “Do you really think pink is my color?” He is examining his hand as he asks this and you almost snort since the visual is so hilarious. It only took Changkyun buying Hyungwon churros one time for him to be so casual? Him? Your brother’s best friend who strongly opposed your ex hanging around? Fascinating.

Changkyun pulls Hyungwon’s hand to examine his fingers, “Yeah, man, it would look cute. YN will make it look nice if you let her.”

You lean harder onto your hand as you look back and forth between the two boys, “Sooo,” you drag out the word, “When did you two fuck boys start dating?”

Hyungwon scrunches his nose with affection towards your ex, “I don’t know, hun, when did you finally lay down for this sausage?”

Changkyun leans forward, eyes glittering in the light, “Babe, let’s not talk about this in front of my ex,” he whines, turning his head away as if shy. 

Hyungwon wraps his arm around your shoulders as he turns to face you, “Babe, how do you feel about threesomes? We want to get fresh in the bedroom.”

You turn to look at him, ignoring the smirk on his face as you run a finger along his jaw and stare up into his eyes, “Aww, darlin’, you really think you would get any time when Changkyun knows exactly what I like?” You can hear your ex crack, hollering from the other side of the table as Hyungwon’s face finally mellows out from the shit-eating grin he had been sporting in hopes of ruffling your feathers. You tilt your head, a smile curving your lips, “You sure you want to play that game with him? He usually wins.” A hand pulls at your arm from across the table so you turn to your ex, avoiding the shift in your brother’s best friend’s mood.

“Babe, are we still going to that Halloween party? You promised.”

You give Changkyun your full attention, leaning towards him with your arms crossed over the table, “Last time I went with you, you let me get naked and dance on the pool table at BTS. I don’t think I can trust you if that’s what I’m to expect.”

“Come on, you had fun! Taeyong dry humped you in the bathroom until I found you.”

“He didn’t plan on stopping there,” you roll your eyes. “Besides, I don’t have a costume, and being a slutty nurse is stale.”

Hyungwon leans closer to you, “I wouldn’t say that. I’ll be your patient.”

Changkyun watches you push Hyungwon away with your hand to his face as you continue to look at him. He had to give it to your brother’s best friend; he’s trying. At this point, he’s sure you have a clue about his interest, but for as long as he’s known you – you’re stubborn. He glances at Hyungwon, “Bro, maybe we should all go as matching costumes. YN can be the nurse, I’ll be the doctor and you can be the patient.”

Hyungwon frowns, definitely disliking the idea, “If that’s the case, you would be the patient.”

Changkyun shrugs, opening his arms wide, “I’ve gone commando before.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I’m not going as a slutty nurse.”

Hyungwon looks at your ex, “Babe?”

“I’ve also worn skirts before.”

What in the world?

* * *

Kihyun is checking over his outfit in the mirror when you walk up the stairs towards your room. He’s primping his hair as he checks his face over probably for the third time since you cleared the landing. “Kih, you look fine. I doubt she will care if you’re cute or not since you’re a great cook.”

His mouth falls to one side, “I just don’t want anything to go wrong.” The words seem to leave his mouth before he realizes what he has said or even what you had said. He turns to look at you, “Wait, how did you know I was going to see a girl?”

You bite your lips, realizing your own mistake, “I read over Hyungwon’s shoulder when he was texting with you the other day. Don’t tell him.”

Kihyun sighs and turns back to the mirror, “I guess it’s fine.”

“Ask her out to one of the Halloween parties, Kih. I’m sure she will say yes.”

Your brother places his hands down on the edge of the sink, his eyes shifting to where you’re still standing in the doorway. Something about the way he’s eying you triggers your flight or fight response, but Yoo Kihyun is faster, “What is with you and Hyungwon lately?”

“What do you mean?”

He fully turns to you, sitting on the edge of the sink, “I don’t know,” he shrugs while crossing his arms over his chest, “He’s been acting differently lately.”

You’re pretty excited when your phone dings, giving you an excuse to escape your brother. You retrieve the device from your jean’s pocket just to throw it into the bathtub. Kihyun’s brow furrows as his eyes drift to the device with a cracked screen. 

“What just happened?”

You rush to your phone and grab it when your brother goes to pick it up and shove it back into your pants, “Nothing, just uhm, Changkyun-”

“Changkyun?” You can see your brother’s fight mode activate, “What did that fucker send you this time? What was his address? I’m going to teach him a lesson.” 

You watch him huff around while you mentally curse yourself for always dropping your best friend’s name the moment your brother questions you. His name being your go-to when it comes to your brother just laid into the fact that he still did not approve nor like Changkyun and there would be no changing that at this rate. Without a thought, you pull Kihyun from the bathroom and push him down the stairs and towards the front door, “Don’t you have a date? Don’t worry about him, I’m staying home tonight you have my word. Bye!” You slam the door as he turns to combat your words and breathe a sigh of relief. Taking your phone back from your pocket, you frown down at the cracked screen before unlocking the device to Hyungwon’s message.

You’re considering writing back when your phone dings again, this time from your brother.

You nod along with your brother’s statements. More often than not, Hyungwon was gravitating around you lately. Even when he would drop off your brother, he would have to come to see you before he could return home. If your brother asked him to hang out, Hyungwon would drag you out of your room and team up with you; especially on games. 

You flip back to Hyungwon’s messages before you consider replying to him. Your brother was right, you had noticed the change in Hyungwon, that much was certain. What you didn’t understand about it, was why now of all times would he choose to show these supposed feelings for you? He’s known you for years. What about the you that you are now is screaming to him that you were worthy of his interest?

You roll your eyes, but don’t respond to the text before tossing your phone on the couch. He would say something dumb and restore your faith in the fact that he was your brother’s best friend that has known you for far too long for anything to come of it. Choosing to believe Hyungwon won’t bother you, you return to your room to change into cotton shorts and a camisole before tossing your hair up in a messy bun. You’re in the middle of hopping around to pop songs while humming the tune when arms wrap around your waist and earn a scream from your lips.

“Woah, woah, calm down,” Hyungwon grins into your neck as he pulls you closer to him. “I wasn’t expecting you to look this cute also, but I’m liking this way more than the sultry nurse idea.” Hyungwon frowns when you pull away from him. He grabs your hand to keep you from wandering too far from him. 

“Won, what’s going on?”

He blinks, “I’m here for chick flick night.”

When you look at him, your eyes widen fractionally when you take in his appearance. Hyungwon is wearing gray sweatpants and a nervous smile. You swallow and walk past him, navigating your way through the home you’ve lived at for twenty plus years as if it’s a foreign area, “Uhm, right,” you stumble in your rush for the kitchen, “Did you want popcorn or a drink?”

You remove the plastic wrap from a popcorn bag and push it into a microwave to cook before you turn to see Hyungwon leaning against the entrance to the kitchen. His arms are crossed over his chest as he watches you closely. You lick your lips and try to not feel self-conscious under his gaze. “What are you looking at?”

He moves towards you slowly, eyes never leaving you, “You.”

You back away as he advances, or try to, your back hitting the counter before you can think to change directions. He’s on you just as fast, pressing his hips into yours as he leans towards you with his arms on the counter behind you. He’s so close you can smell the cinnamon-y aftershave he uses, but your eyes are focused on how he runs his teeth over his plump bottom lips. 

Hyungwon grins, using his finger to tilt your head up to look at him, “Have you thought about it yet?”

Your mind has been blank since he pressed you into the counter, so when the question leaves his lips you tilt your head, “Huh?”

Hyungwon presses his head to yours, “Have you thought about starting a new disaster with me?”

The loud beeping of the microwave behind you breaks your focus, maybe the trance, as you try to turn and pull the popcorn from the machine. Hyungwon keeps you firmly in place, pressing his body closer to you until you have no choice but to face him again. “What if I don’t want a disaster? What if I want something less dramatic?”

“I can do that,” he states, still refusing to let you move away.

You release a breath and try not to sigh. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe him, even given his recent history, but like you were sure that even Hyungwon knew - you’re stubborn. You take him in for a moment, noting the seriousness of his face as he watches you closely and you debate telling him how long you’ve had a crush on him. The words, however, die the instant Hyungwon pulls away from you at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him.

Kihyun jerks his finger over his shoulder and turns to leave the room. He doesn’t look too happy and your first thought is Seola. Had something happened between them to make your brother look so down? You wonder if the request was for you, but Hyungwon finally pulls away from you and shakes his head before going after your brother up the stairs. You frown and finally turn to pull the popcorn from the microwave. So much for chick flick night. Your head pops up as you turn to look at the stairs that are visible from the kitchen. Your brother had seen Hyungwon partially naked, pressing you into the counter and obviously in a moment. His words from before he left come back to you.

He needed to know if you were going to hurt Hyungwon.

Did that mean he knew Hyungwon had feelings for you?

Had Hyungwon told him?

* * *

Changkyun stares over the top of the pizza he had ordered for the both of you for lunch. He’s using the spatula to cut the pieces of the pie better while he watches you steadily. He had always been good at multitasking, but this part of him was always unnerving - his unbreakable focus. “So what happened yesterday?”

“What do you mean?”

He rolls his eyes and places a slice of the supreme pizza on your plate before tossing a bunch of jalapenos down next to it, “Don’t give me that, babe, he was practically begging you to hang out with him the other night and I doubt it stopped at lunch.”

You chew your lip as you stare at your best friend. Today he’s decided on a shredded red and green striped sweater and you’re sure at some point he had globs of what probably made his face look burnt, “I don’t know Freddy “Eat Me” Kreuger what you’re talking about.” Changkyun gives you a look and it cracks you easily as you pick up the pizza slice he had given you before tossing a few jalapenos on top, “Hyungwon asked me out,” you frown as you take a bite of your pizza, chewing it before you add, “At least, that’s what I think happened.”

Changkyun drops the slice he was putting on his plate to lean forward over the whole pie, “He finally confessed to you?”

Your brow furrows as you regard him, “Wait, you knew?”

Your ex leans back and pulls the slice that ended up half on his plate and half on the table to his lips to take a bite. He leaves you in suspense to tuck away half of his slice before he wipes his lips and speaks again. “It was kind of obvious, babe. How did you not know?”

After another bite of your own pizza you frown, “I guess I just believed it was all in my head? I mean, you remember how he was when we dated, right? It was like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. As soon as Kihyun would complain and try to punch your face in, he would run after him when Kih stormed off. It’s not like he ever showed any interest in me.”

He rolls his eyes as he debates pulling another slice of pizza onto his plate, “Babe, do you even remember how when we were dating that I suddenly got very clingy towards the end of our relationship?”

“Vaguely,” you allow.

He sends you a glare, but softens as he continues his thought, “I had been cool with him being around, you know, he was taken and you were taken. Both our relationships were going good and then he just, well,” Changkyun sighs, “He changed. Something about him and his girlfriend or maybe just him changed and he started being flirty with you. I don’t think you even realized it because it was how he treated you before he started dating that girl, but I noticed it. So I tried to make sure you were never alone whenever your brother had him around or whenever we would go to parties together that I knew they would show up at.”

You stop mid-bite, “How come you never told me?”

“Because you didn’t seem to notice.”

You chew on the bite in your mouth, head tilting to the side, “And then I went and accused you of being paranoid.”

“Yeah.”

“Was that why you cheated on me?” 

Changkyun frowns, “No, I really had been drunk that night. I had been looking for you so that we could leave, but then I ran into that girl. I’m not sure what possessed me to cheat on you with her. I didn’t even know or like her, but it happened.” He looks up at you from his pizza, “Babe, we’ve talked about this. Let’s not rehash it every time you’re doubting yourself or someone’s feelings for you. What happened doesn’t change anything. You’re beautiful and you deserved to be loved. Don’t let what I did change that, please.”

You mirror his frown and pick at the toppings on the leftover of your slice of pizza. This hasn’t been the first time he’s told you this and it probably will not be the last time. “Should I give him a chance?”

He holds your gaze a moment before looking down at his empty plate, “If that’s what you want to do, babe. You should know by now that I don’t want to influence your decisions.”

* * *

Hyungwon flips his cap backward as he leans against the wall outside of his Movie Analysis class. He’s looking down at Krystal as she replies in fast succession to someone, her mind clearly not even within a foot of him. His eyes shift when he catches a familiar figure out of the corner of his eyes, them snapping up to find the girl that had broken his best friend’s heart before he could even offer it to her. There stood Seola, her arm wrapped around Taeyong as the guy has her pulled against him where he leans against the wall surrounded by other members of the NCT fraternity. This occurrence had been happening all week since the moment that Kihyun had come home last weekend and explained what had happened between the two of them. 

He just didn’t understand her reasoning for flaunting Taeyong around him. Kihyun told him not to bother with her or Taeyong and he wouldn’t. 

“Are you even listening to me, Won?”

Hyungwon looks back to Krystal, “Sorry, what happened?”

“Justin really thinks that I won’t dump him if he decides to flirt with other girls.”

His eyes narrow in concentration, “Wait, Justin? Hockey team Justin?”

Krystal raises a brow at his concern, “Yeah, and?”

“Krys,” Hyungwon sighs, “We talked about this. The guy is a jackass. Why did you agree to date him? You even said you weren’t interested in him.”

She avoids his gaze while she locks her phone and tries to keep her voice even, “Well, he- I,” she frowns hearing her voice crack, “I don’t know, okay? There’s just something about him.”

“STDs,” Hyungwon deadpans, “The fact that he has two kids and refuses to accept either of them. He’ll drop you as soon as he gets what he wants. There’s-”

“Okay,” Krystal yells, shoving her phone into her bag, “I get it. He’s a piece of crap.”

Hyungwon reaches forward and runs his hands down her arms, “Hey, I wasn’t saying it to make you feel bad. I just don’t want you going after emotionally constipated assholes that wouldn’t be able to find your g spot even if you coached them through the whole thing. Krys, you don’t deserve that. Leave him to some dumb girl that’s just trying to get dicked down and go find yourself someone better.”

She looks at him now, eyes misty with tears, “Will you help me dump him? I don’t want to use you or anything, I just want you there for support.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Thanks,” she sniffs, “I have to head to class, but I’ll text you, okay?”

“I’ll be ready,” he agrees, sending her off with a smile.

* * *

Kihyun slides into the booth, his tray holding a cup of water and some fries. He doesn’t make much sound aside from setting the fries between you both. You who is studying for your test in an hour, but gladly pushes the materials aside to face your brother who hasn’t seemed himself since last weekend. He picks up two fries and puts them to his lips then drops his hand to rest on the table, “It didn’t work out.”

You scooch closer to your brother, keeping yourself from wrapping him in a hug since you know he would reject it either way. “You mean with Seola? What happened?”

He looks at you, “I took your advice and asked her to one of the Halloween parties. She didn’t even consider it. Seola just laughed and said she wanted cooking lessons since I knew what I was doing. She wasn’t even interested in me.”

“Aw, Kih,” you pout, offering your arms, even when you know he won’t take them.

He shocks you when he accepts your hug, holding you tightly in the middle of the campus’ main cafeteria. If he hadn’t been so upset, you were sure he would never have accepted your offer or even entertained it. You pat his back until he pulls away, his face far less glum than it was before that moment.

“I’ll be fine,” he explains, fully pulling from your arms to finally eat the fries he had picked up before the hug. He downs a few more before he glances over your book and notes, “Sorry, did I interrupt your studying?”

You also glance down at your notes, “Ah, no, not really. I was just doing some last-minute cramming for that exam.”

He smiles and ruffles your hair gently, “Did you finally talk with Hyungwon? I feel bad for interrupting your moment over the weekend.”

“Uhm,” you keep your eyes on your notes, hoping like hell the heat you feel in your cheeks is not them turning bright red as you remember how he had looked at you while telling you about his want to date, “I’m not really sure we talked. He asked if I could be interested in dating him, but I don’t think that counts as talking.”

“Did you answer him?”

You look at your brother then, taking in the white sweatshirt that clearly doesn’t belong to him. It fits tightly on his chest and the size seems a bit off. Actually, you’re positive it’s Hyungwon’s sweatshirt and you push the thought away; sharing happened occasionally between your brother and his best friend when it came to clothes, but it was usually Hyungwon borrowing Kihyun’s clothes and not the other way around. “I was going to,” you smile weakly, “but you seemed to need him during that moment, so I kept my answer to myself.”

“YN! It’s been almost 7 days. What if he thinks the worst?”

At your lack of response, Kihyun pulls out his phone and starts texting away. You watch him for a moment before you start to become suspicious of the previous exchange. “Uh, Kih, what are you doing?”

“Telling Won to meet me here.”

“What? No!” You start packing away your books and notes, shoving at your brother to let you out of the booth, but he doesn’t budge. “Kih! Let me out.”

“No.”

“Kih!”

“You need to answer him.”

The sound of his phone dinging pulls both of your eyes. I can’t make it. I have a thing. You finally stop pushing against your brother as he stares down at the reply. You’re both surprised he finally had the gall to turn down your brother’s request for once that the moment stands still for what seems like hours. The thing that pulls you both from the depths of silence is the alarm on your phone notifying you that you only have 5 minutes to run to your next class. You pull your bag onto your arm and look to your brother, “I have to go.” He wordlessly removes himself from your way, eyes refocusing on his phone as he starts typing again. You pat his shoulder in farewell and rush off to class; not sure what to make of that text message that Hyungwon had sent your brother. 

Hyungwon throws his phone against the brick column of the Science building. It earns him a few eyes as he paces in the spot he had just been standing; ignoring his broken phone. He had been waiting for Krystal to meet him here before they went to meet up with Justin at the student center when Kihyun’s message had come in. It was the first time he had felt stupid for not lying to his best friend, but between them, there were rarely any lies. Sure, he fibbed when he wanted to hang out with you, but he never said anything but the truth when it came to anything else. The only person he felt comfortable telling the whole truth to was his best friend. 

When Krys finally meets up with him, his hair is disheveled from having run his hands through it over and over again while he tries to figure out how to calm his best friend down. She hands him his phone, frown on her face, “Did something happen?” He retrieves the phone from her fingers and glares down at it. Texting you now was hopeless; pushing the power button left him with a black screen still. He pushes the device into his front jeans pocket, “I fucked up.”

She looks him over, her glossy black hair whipping around in the wind as she crosses her arms in front of her torso, “Are you going to be okay to help me? I’ll understand if you can’t.”

He stops his pacing at her words, pressing his hair back from his face, “What? Yes, I’m coming. I promised you, Krys.”

“I was just making sure,” she pouts. “Are you ready?”

Hyungwon licks his lips grabs her hand to focus his thoughts and pulls her with him towards the student center. However, his mind is on you. Had your brother told you he went to handle something with a girl? Would he have enough time to catch you after your weekly study session to explain to you what happened?

“Krys, what the fuck is going on?”

Hyungwon’s head jerks to where the angry voice is coming from. Justin, captain of the hockey team, stands there in sweat shorts and a shirt with the school’s emblem on it. His face is mutating into a boiled crab as he tosses his water bottle behind him and squaring his shoulder as if to make himself appear bigger in his approach. He squeezes Krystal’s hand, offering her a glance before he drops her hand with the silent motivation to go ahead with her mission.

He watches her step forward, hands spread out to halt Justin’s access to him as he lets them talk it out. Hyungwon had promised her he would be there as moral support, but the unspoken request was that he be there in case things got physical in a bad way. 

“I knew you were fucking him, Krys. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth when I asked?!”

Krystal frowns at Justin, her mouth close to becoming a permanent pout, “I’m not fucking him, Justin, he’s my best friend! Practically my brother! Why do you always assume that I fuck every guy I’m close with? Because that’s what you do?”

Hyungwon’s eyes cut from the back of Krystal’s head to Justin’s face, anger simmering in his stomach at the way the conversation was moving. He prayed this bastard wasn’t brave enough to admit his stupid antics. 

“You’re stupid if you think anyone would stop messing around for you, Krys.”

Well, there went his faith in humanity. Hyungwon steps forward, his chest just behind Krystal’s back. He’s let his face fall into a hard grimace, begging the dumb jock to try him one more time - waiting for Krystal to give him the go-ahead to end the jerk’s life.

Justin sees him before Krystal and shoots him a smirk, “What’s wrong, big man? Mad that I’m talking to the little slut like she deserves? Think you’re better than me because you let her get away with screwing the whole school?”

Hyungwon steps forward, his chest bumping into Krystal who seems to realize just how close he is now. She stands her ground, eyes burning holes into Justin as she raises her fist, pulls it back, and thrusts it forward; connecting it with his jaw. It earns a grin from Hyungwon before he steps between her and Justin, daring him to even try and raise his hand against his friend. Justin is steaming when he rights himself, his jaw already turning colors as he glares at Hyungwon’s chest as if he could see through his body to Krystal behind him.

“Call your dog off, bitch. If you’re strong enough to punch me, you’re strong enough for the consequences. Come on, buttercup.”

Hyungwon pops his neck, “Back off, man. Take the L.”

“Or what?” Justin taunts, “You’re going to kick my ass?”

Hyungwon grins, “I don’t know, are you going to give me a reason to?”

Krystal is quiet behind him, but Justin looks feral as his gaze locks on Hyungwon. He peacocks as Hyungwon smirks, waiting for Justin to make the first move. The jock reaches out and grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him forward, their faces just millimeters apart, “What’s wrong, man? You can talk the talk but as soon as I size you up, you want to act like a prude. She’s just a dumb slut who wanted a jock like all of them.”

Hyungwon laughs, letting the guy close the distance between them. Waiting for him to make his move, waiting for him to be so blinded by his stupidity to leave open a place for him to attack. Justin grabs for his shirt and he lets him, looking down at the shrimpy hockey player and wondering just what exactly makes him feel so much better than anyone. He offers himself out to every girl, gets some of the pregnant, and then blames them for it, and yet he still thinks he’s better than other people. It’s laughable. Justin raises one of his arms, pulling it back as if he’s got Hyungwon in some kind of underdog position and he finally laughs, using most of his strength to lunge forward and knock the idiot to the ground. He’s on him before Justin can collect himself, landing punch after punch to his jaw.

“I told you to take the L, man. Now, look at where we are.”

Krystal grabs for him, realizing the uneasiness of the other hockey team members as Hyungwon puts Justin in his place. “Won, come on! That’s enough.”

He finally looks to his friend, “How is that possibly enough? He’s done far worse things to you.” Hyungwon knows she just doesn’t want him to have to deal with the hockey team advancing towards them to rescue their teammate, but he doesn’t see why he should have to stop. Justin clearly was wanting a fight, and that’s what he got. Simple as that. 

“Please, Won, let’s go.”

He glares back down at Justin, leaning down just close enough so that he’s sure the idiot can hear him, “Stay away from my friend. Go back to your sluts and leave her alone, or I swear to god, I will rearrange your face to where no girl will ever look your way again. Got it?”

“Won! Let's go!”

Hyungwon jerks the hockey player beneath him, “I SAID DO YOU GOT IT?!”

“I got it, man! Leave me alone!”

* * *

You’re seated next to RJ, listening to her talk about the questions on their test that she had troubles with, but your mind is in a far off place. Hyungwon from last weekend and today’s message popping forward after each other to put you in a mix of anxious happiness. After your exam, you had reached out to Changkyun for his take on what had happened and he tried to assure you that Hyungwon was over the moon for you, but the text message would return and make you doubt even your friend’s judgement. Next you wrote Hoseok, hoping he would have an explanation, but he had blown you off to meet some girl in the back of the library for a quickie. It left you in the endless nauseous state while you tried to decipher what had happened. 

Had you waited too long to get back to him?

If Changkyun was right, he had waited for a few years now. Would he really drop you just because you hadn’t responded to his feelings right away?

Your eyes are downcast as you walk out of your study session, mind still full to the brim over all the what ifs that have been plaguing you since that afternoon. Someone standing just a foot from you doesn’t even cross your mind until you hear your brother’s voice shouting your name. Your head jerks up to find Hyungwon staring at you, worry worn on his face like a new addiction as his face turns to Kihyun.

“Let's go,” he calls to you from the building’s main doors. 

Hyungwon wants to block you from leaving. He wants to grab your wrist, pull you down the hall towards the back exit and find somewhere private for him to explain why your brother was angry with him. He just doesn’t get the chance. Won bears the glare fixated on him as Kihyun walks forward to grab your hand, “Stay away from my sister, Won.”

Your eyes go wide as you focus back on Hyungwon. “What happened?”

“It’s-”

Kihyun pulls you before he can continue, “You’re not to talk to him from now on.”

“Kih,” you struggle against his hold on you, “What happened?”

Hyungwon rushes forward and grabs your free hand, earning your eyes, “Just listen to your brother, babe. I’ll explain later, okay? It’s not what he thinks it is.”

“Like hell it isn’t,” Kihyun growls while pulling you from the building.

You let your frown deepen as you watch Hyungwon while your brother pulls you away from him. It feels weird as his fingers slide over yours while Hyungwon’s form gets hidden away by the main doors; the look on his face exhausted and worried. You hadn’t even noticed the blood on his knuckles or how bruised they were until you found yourself focusing now that there was only your brother’s breathing to distract you from the way your mind raced. You look down at your brother’s hand that’s holding yours, noting the lack of blood and bruising on his own hands. If the fight wasn’t between him and Hyungwon, who did he fight with?

Kihyun releases a heavy breath as you both sit down at the bus stop. Neither of you had ever been daring enough to take the bus, but Hoseok had always explained how easy it was; even with your house being so close to campus. When your brother seems calm, you push his hand away and rub your legs, “So what was all that about?”

“You were right,” he lets out without the slightest irony.

That reminds you of the text you had seen Hyungwon send your brother earlier; then also your texts with your brother. You had told him ‘yeah, because the playboy is the one that’s going to get hurt’ and your mind races. Was that what your brother was referring to you being right about? That Hyungwon would be the one to hurt you instead of the other way around? You raise your hands to hug yourself, “I didn’t want to be right, Kih.”

He sighs and grabs for one of your hands again, “I’m sorry. As your brother, I should always be on your side when you ask me and even when you don’t - I just, I know Hyungwon and I hadn’t expected him to do this when he seemed interested in you.” 

You squeeze your brother’s hand, “I feel like you’re more upset at yourself than you are at him, Kih. You really thought that I would break your best friend’s heart and believed he wasn’t capable of that even with all previous experience behind him. I get that, but you should still hear him out. Something about Hyungwon instinctively has you always believing the good in him. So give him another chance, hm? He’s your best friend.”

“Why aren’t you more upset about this?”

You give him a soft smile, “Because, I believe in your gut. You’ve looked out for me for years without asking and made sure that I was safe despite how much I protested. You know Hyungwon wouldn’t hurt me, but you feel upset about what possibly happened. Clear it up, if he really did do what you believe then we can toss pumpkins from the roof of the house or TP his dorm room.” 

Kihyun laughs, “TP his dorm room?”

“It’s not like he lives at home or anything,” you grin, biting back a laugh. 

“Deal,” your brother nods, standing and pulling you along when the bus finally arrives. “I’ll talk to Hyungwon and see what happened. Just get the toilet paper ready in case I was right.”

“You got it!”

* * *

Kihyun stares down at his phone. The messages were delivered, but his best friend hadn’t opened them. He couldn’t even be mad if Hyungwon was upset with him - he would be upset if Hyungwon had treated him the same way. He sighs, they had never been in this position. Fights between them didn’t happen since Won always went along or agreed with his decisions, so he felt hollow. He missed his best friend. You were right, maybe he was wrong about what had happened and the only way to make it right would be to reach out to him like he was trying to do. So why wasn’t Won answering him?

* * *

It’s 12AM when you jump, your window shuddering open pulling you from your restful sleep and causing you to slap your lamp. The poor thing falls over and breaks, sending your heart into a full panic as you turn back to where you know your window is to see the outline of a dark figure standing there. It’s holding out its hands placatingly before it reaches up and pulls at the light for your ceiling fan. You grab your pillow and toss it at the intruder as the light comes on, blinking against the brightness until it clears and you find Hyungwon standing there. 

He looks as panicked as you, stomping down the hall grabs your attention as you rush to your door to find Kihyun trying to barge his way inside. 

“What happened? I heard something break.”

You peak out the small opening in your door at your brother, his face has creases from his pillows and he looks like he isn’t quite awake yet, “I accidentally hit my lamp while I was sleeping. It’s broken. I’ll clean it up in the morning, okay?”

He rubs at his face, sleep seems to take hold of him again, “Yeah, ok,” he mumbles as he turns back down the hallway, “I’ll help you in the morning.”

You close the door back and turn the lock before looking back at Won. He looks nervous standing there in dark grey sweats and his university hoodie. You step forward and grab his hand, looking over the bruising across his knuckles before he pulls it away, his eyes downcast.

“It’s not what your brother thinks. I would never ask you to date me if I wasn’t going to take it seriously, babe. You have to believe me.”

“I do.”

He frowns, reaching up to run his hand through his hair after pushing his hood down, “Please, babe, I’ll do anything. I’ll-” he pauses, “Wait, you do believe me?”

“Of course I do, Won. Kih believes you too, he was just upset over how things were looking. Have you tried texting him to clear things up?”

He sighs, “I broke my phone.”

“Pick him up tomorrow,” you suggest, grabbing for his hand again, to lace your fingers between his, “Take him out for breakfast, tell him what happened and I’m positive you two will be back to normal before I even run into you at school.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“Huh?”

Hyungwon pulls you closer to him, “I mean, I don’t want to leave. My heart has been on pins and needles since I told you how I feel, babe. Would you please date me?”

“Won, do you really want to date your best friend’s little sister?”

“I’ve wanted nothing but that for such a long time now,” he confesses, his eyes never leaving yours as he tries to gauge your reaction. He wanted this and he needed to know that you wanted it too. 

His words leave you stunned, staring into his eyes. He didn’t even try to make it seem like a joke so that you would spare his feelings or not feel pressured by his statement. Hyungwon wanted to date you. He wanted to know what your thoughts were on dating him. Hadn’t that been obvious all along? You pull him closer to you by your joined hands, “When Hoseok got mad at you at that party weeks ago,” you pause, heart in your throat, you hadn’t ever wanted to revisit that night, “It was because I like you. Hoseok was the first one to know, he just didn’t know how to go about knowing that without lashing out at you. I’m sorry.”

Hyungwon grins, “You were jealous.” 

You narrow your eyes at his gloating, taking your hand from his to push his face away, ending the trance-like good feeling he’s in. However, his hand grabs for yours before you can push him away and pulls you in tight against him, his breath ghosting along your lips. It sends a shiver down your spine, “So what if I was?”

Hyungwon grabs your free hand and pins both of them behind your back, never losing your gaze, “There was nothing to be jealous of, baby, I had been yours since long before that moment and if you’ll accept me - for far longer than now.”

“If I say no?”

He sees how you are doing your best to keep a straight face, so he ghosts his plush lips over yours, “I guess I won’t even get to show you what these lips can do.”

You’re sure he can feel the shiver wreck your body this time with how close the two of you are. It’s upsetting how easily such words from him can set your body aflame; even if he’s just teasing you. You wanted to return the favor, but your mind can barely focus past how close his lips are to yours at this moment that fighting against that thought is impossible. You push your lips to his, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth for a moment before feeling him relax into it; even his hold on your wrists loosens as he dives deeper in. 

Hyungwon is the one that pulls away, resting his forehead against yours as he leans forward, “Th-that’s not an answer, babe.”

You grin, pecking his lips to try and entice him in for another kiss. He straightens to where you have to step up on your tippy-toes, but even that’s not enough to give you the access you want. You sigh, “Yes, Won, I want to date you.”

The smile he gives you is one you haven’t seen him use in a long time. Like your simple answer was the only thing holding him back from feeling real joy in a while. He pecks your lips and squeezes you to his chest before he releases you, “I should go. I have to go sneak back into my dorm and sleep so that I can pick up your brother tomorrow and have that talk with him.”

You pull him back to you by the front of his university hoodie, “Stay.”

Hyungwon leans down and kisses you once more, “Okay, I’ll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I haven't updated _anything_ in a long time. I've been on the job hunt, so there hasn't been much time for anything - let alone writing. Hopefully, I can work on getting back to semi-regular posting again. Wish me luck :)


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